(Closed) I Missed the Holiday Office Party (Guilty-Vent-Rant)

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe she had purchased a certain amount of food and drinks based on how many people said they would be there? Things come up and that’s understandable, but I think saying that you don’t want to RSVP to any more parties because it “stresses you out” is a little silly.

Post # 5
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Good intentions don’t eat the food she bought based on your RSVP.  She has a right to be miffed that you didn’t show.  You have a right to just say NO next time if you don’t like going out.

Post # 7
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@veryberry13:  There’s always pressure to do useless office social crap. I don’t have to like it, but I do consider it part of my job. That’s the only way I can convince myself to participate when I’d rather scratch my own eyes out. During business hours and after work is bad enough, but on a Saturday? I would have declined too. 

Having said that, it is a bit rude to decline at the last minute. Hosts plan around guest numbers – at least I do – and it’s nice to know in advance. This wasn’t an emergency, you just decided not to go. Giving her more of a heads up would have been appreciated I’m sure. 

Post # 8
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

She sounds like a seriously Crazy Daisy! I definitely don’t think you did anything wrong!

Post # 10
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sorry but if you RSVP yes and bail, the host is allowed to be a little PO’d imo. It’s kind of lame to be like “I’d rather not get an invite so that I don’t get in trouble if I want to flake out”.

Post # 11
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsPanda99:  Lol.  I feel the same way about office parties.  Ugh!

 @veryberry13:  Hugs!  I don’t think you should feel bad, you had a legitimate reason for bailing.  You could always say you suddenly came down with a raging fever and were concerned about being contagious.  😉

Post # 13
7271 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@veryberry13:  Have you apologized to her in person yet? That would be the first thing I would do. I wouldn’t make up excuses either- just tell her the truth, you had a few drinks and realized you shouldn’t be driving.

I would be miffed too if someone bailed last minute and I have actually been in a position where someone has done this. It’s hard not to take it personally when you invite someone, they say yes, and then duck out without a good reason.

I think it’s annoying that she hounds you if you say no but I also think it’s annoying to say “maybe” to an invite. How can she plan a party based on maybes?

Post # 15
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@veryberry13:  ANd this is why I never went to any social gatherings when I worked in an office. I didn’t care if people thought I was anti-social or whatever. I was super nice to everyone at work during work hours but said “Sorry, can’t” to every event no matter who was inviting me. One lady invited EVERYONE to her daughter’s quince (like a sweet 16) and even though I said i couldn’t make it, she snubbed me along with all the people who said they would and bailed. 

I would pick ONE dinner ONCE a year and go to that so everyone would leave me alone for a while. It had to be near work, during my work hours (I worked the swing shift, usually 4pm-midnight) and not celebrating anyone in particular (so it didn’t look like I was celebrating A’s birthday but not B’s bridal shower). That group got together a LOT, so if they had drinks & dinner at one of the restaurants on the block, I’d go during my dinner break, socialize for 45 minutes and then- oh sad- have to run back to work. done and done.

Post # 16
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Sounds like she said it casually to someone else. She’ll get over it. So should you.

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