(Closed) I moved in with the love of my life…why am I so miserable? A bit long. Advice?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
266 posts
Helper bee

What a horrible thing to be going through. I’m sorry you feel this way!

I moved from CA to WA and am occasionally homesick, but for the most part I love WA and wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

It sounds like you should see a psychiatrist. Anti-depressants may help, and then regular counseling to help figure out what’s at the root of your depression, and how to work through it. Best of luck!

Post # 4
2699 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah…I do not think you need counseling. You are a woman of a certain age (as am I) and a widow (me too) and things get…hmmm… and sometimes it is a challenge to stay settled, happy, and peaceful. I say have a complete physical and check your hormone levels. Things get kooky for no reason and little tweaks here and there work wonders.

Post # 5
11650 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

wifetobee63:  oh, honey, that sucks! I’ve moved across country many times and I have been sooo homesick. Never to the degree that you are experiencing it, but it can be so darn sad to be so far from familiar people and places. 

Agree with PP to see a doctor, you might need a little medical test to make sure everything is as it should be and from there, see a professional for support. 

Post # 6
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

The grass is always greener.  I pray you will find the answers you’re looking for – whether it’s in your homestate or your new home… 

Post # 7
8835 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

wifetobee63:  Good job mama!! You got 3 kids through college and a 4th almost there? That deserves recognition. Well done. And now you’ve had so many changes recently, it’s no wonder you’re feeling mixed up and unsteady. If you’re financially able to do school year down south and summers up north, that sounds like an excellent plan. If that’s too much though (either financially or just too much hassle and uprooting) I’m sure you and your fiance can come up with something. Don’t be afraid to see a therapist — there’s no shame in saying “I’m overwhelmed and need some guidance” or “My brain chemicals are out of whack and need a kickstart.” Either or both might be true and it would probably be helpful to talk to a professional. I wish you luck. This could be the start of a wonderful new chapter in your life and I hope you can enjoy it.

Post # 8
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

wifetobee63:  hi, I dont know if this will help but I have moved around a lot and it is hard. i highly recommend trying to find a friend in the area to hang with. I know you are very busy but social  interactions really do help (I’m very introverted so it is a struggle for me).  also, try and reign in looking up news about your home state. i will get in ruts sometime and fixate on a “past life” and it really does nothing for me. 

I also second the idea of getting your hormones checked out. In particular the crying every night thing makes me think its hormonal. It could be legit depression, but my first stop would be checking my hormones. 

I also give your husband props for offering to spend summers in your home state. I know you said you didn’t want to do that but it doesnt seem like a terrible idea to me. Good luck!

Post # 9
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

It sounds like you have been unhappy for a good while. unhappy in your previous job, unhappy with new job, unhappy with newer job, unhappy in home state, unhappy in new state. guess what? where every you go, there you are. Something is going on within YOU that is contributing to your unhappiness. a good therapist would be a good start, and perhaps a psychiatrist to make sure you are not suffering from depression or the like. in my 12 step groups, we call this behavior ‘doing geographics’. just means thinking that something external (new job, new city, new relationship) is going to make us happy when the problem lies within us.

Post # 10
533 posts
Busy bee

I suggest you get a complete medical exam including all the blood work, not just the standard panel. Sometimes, it is a simple as a low iron   or vitamin D level or something similar. It is a pain, but easier than being sad all the time or moving twice a year. 

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