(Closed) I must have been crazy to think it was OUR guest list..

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

In all honesty, I think parents of the bride and groom should be allowed to invite a certain designated amount of guests that they feel should be there. I do think this needs to be discussed and agreed to among all parties involved. 

Personally I’ve told my mom and stap dad,and  my dad and step mom that they can each invite 8 guests that i may not have originally invited.

I figure it’s only fair, since they raised me and all!!

Post # 5
Member
2743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

IF she’s not paying she gets no say.

Post # 7
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well the big question is who is pay.  If she’s paying, she gets a say.  If not, then you get the final say.

Post # 8
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mrs-evans:  I hear you. And you get to have whatever wedding with whatever type of guest list you want!! That’s the beauty of being the bride (and groom) ultimately, you get final say. 

I was just sharing what worked for me. The guests that my father is inviting I’ve never met, but I’ve met the guests my mother is inviting. This keeps everyone happy, my parents get to extend invitations to people they care about, and I probably won’t even notice the couple extra people there. We had the space at our venue, so why not.

Post # 10
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@mrs-evans:  I’ve got a few people I’ve never met, or never met in my adult life (meeting them when I was 5 doesn’t count!) coming to my wedding, not including guests from FI’s side of the family I’ve never met. Fiance has about 60 people he’s never met coming to our wedding from my side. My parents and his parents are paying a portion, and we’re paying a portion (parents together are paying 1/2, we’re paying the other 1/2) so I guess I’m in the boat of, whomever is paying gets a say.

Post # 11
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think if you guys are firm and united she can and will be reined even if she pouts about it. It’s also important for her son to tell her this my wedding and I don’t want them there so she gets it.

 

Guest list was tough with my parents as well. I end up giving my Mom some no questions invites she used them and half of the people decided to come so I was excited about that lol.

 

Post # 12
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We had similar issues.  Case in point, we asked both sets of parents prior to choosing a venue if they had guest requirements.  They both said no, and we picked a very small, intimate venue.  Then, both decided they had to have people there.  Unfortunately, we were not able to accomodate them all, but we are paying for 100% of this shindig on our own.  If they were, then things would have gotten trickier.

Post # 13
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wasn’t crazy about that aspect of a wedding either. But I still managed to have my 100 guests there! I didn’t want to go over that by much. 

Post # 15
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Probably about 30% of our guests are people my Father-In-Law is inviting. I’ve never met them, my husband has never met them, but my Father-In-Law wants them invited. I just shrug my shoulders and sent out invites. No biggie.

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