(Closed) I need a pep talk.

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your photog was waaaayyyy out of line.  But, it’s really not that big of a deal IMO.  He’ll still be surprised when he sees you in real life.

Post # 4
Member
8871 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@whoa_its_ash:  that’s terrible that your photog did that and should have absolutely asked first, especially being a famiyl friend.  i would tell your photog that you are really upset that your Fiance saw you in your dress.

Post # 5
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

To be honest he’s probably seen you in a white dress that looks like the billion other white dresses out there. I printed off the weddingdress i liked and my dad (ok not FI) asked me why i printed so many copies of the same dress! some had sleeves, some strapless. to us, not a bit the same, to men a white dress! He probably thought you looked ‘nice’ but couldn’t tell you anything about hair and makeup. Infact if the makeup was subtle he probably thought you weren’t wearing any at all. Men are a bit clueless about this stuff (at least my Fiance and all his friends are) so I wouldn’t worry. He’ll have forgotten by the big day and will be ready tot be bowled over by you!

Post # 6
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Way out of line in fact I think I would fire him for that without a doubt!!

Post # 7
Member
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I can’t believe your photographer did that! I would be so upset too. I’m so sorry that happened 🙁

Post # 8
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I understand that technically the photos belong to the person who took them, but this was a huge lack of courtesy. I am sure your FH will still be blown away on your wedding day though.

Post # 9
Member
2685 posts
Sugar bee

I’d be really upset.  I think it’s really unprofessional to post bridal pics where the Fiance could easily see them.  Definitely sit down with the photographer and tell them how you feel and that posting the pics early is not acceptable.  Hopefully the photographer will learn this lesson for future brides they work with too.

Post # 10
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I understand you’re upset as you wanted it to be a surprise, and the photographer was out of line publishing those photos of you! However, it’s still 80 days until we’re getting married (August 3rd as well!) and I’m sure your FI’s memory of the dress will be fussy by that time. 🙂 Plus, it’s going to be so much more than just the makeup and hair that makes you the bride that day – I’m sure he’s going to feel overwhelmed regardless!

And if it makes you feel a little bit better, my Fiance was with me when I selected my dress and he will be with me when I pick it up from the store on Monday. I asked how he felt about it and he said it just made him more excited, that it feels more real that he will actually be able to marry me. So… it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing!

Hugs!

Post # 11
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Does your photographer normally not do bridal portraits? That’s the only way I can figure that he would make such a big mistake. I agree that was a huge faux pas and that he should not have done that. 

Honestly, if that happened to me, I would probably try to think of a way to modify my look so the Fiance was still surprised – but there’s a good chance he’ll have forgotten by the wedding and still be surprised. I agree that these details don’t matter as much to men as they do to women in general.

Post # 13
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

this is waaaaay out of line! I would have fired him or got a serious discount.

how ever take a deep breath calm down. ur day is going to be special. he will have u stood infront of him saying vows. it is very different to see a picture. and i sure ur day will be just as special as it would have been if he didnt see them.x

Post # 14
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would be so upset.  I am sorry that happened to you. Did you pay this guy money?  If you did I would try and get some of it back for the disappointment this caused.

Post # 15
Member
3351 posts
Sugar bee

@whoa_its_ash:  Awww 🙁 I totally get why you’re upset, I would be too! Really dumb move on the photographer’s part. I do agree that your Fiance will probably forget a lot of what he saw, and nothing will beat the feeling of seeing you all dolled up in person! I think it’s a good idea to maybe change some things up like your hair and makeup, but only if you had ideas that you liked just as much or better. *hugs*

Post # 16
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@whoa_its_ash:  The men + white dress thing is so true. I had posted a thread a few days ago and checked it on our iPad but never closed the thread. Fiance went to use it and opened the iPad straight to that thread. He closed it, said he thought there was a picture of me but not sure in my wedding dress, and swore up and down that it just looked like a white dress to him. I take his word for it. The man can’t keep many of my clothes straight and rarely can distinguish one black dress from another so I’m sure that applies to white. It’ll be ok!

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