Post # 1
I would like your opinions regarding this matter, any input would be greatly appreciated 🙂
I have been dating a great man for the past 2.5 years. After about the 6 month of dating we began talking about how we want to be married, and we still talk about alot now
Currently, I am in Nursing school and am due to graduate in July of 2012. I live at home with my family due to not being able to work. I am 30 years old and want to be engaged to my boyfriend. I have made him well aware of the situation, he expressed that he wants the same thing but wants to wait until I graduate to get engaged.
His reasoning is that I am in a grueling program and he doesn’t want my focus derailed due to marriage planning and just the over whelming/excitement of being engaged. Next week mt boyfriend and I are going to look at rings, but I cannot help but think about his remark of wanting to wait until I graduate to actually get engaged. I cannot force or rush something like this and do not want to nag my boyfriend into proposing, I am just at a loss of what to do from here. Any advice?
Post # 3
I feel like your Boyfriend or Best Friend is actually making a very good point now.
Wedding planning creates A LOT of stress that seems unneeded for you right now. I’m sure it’s do-able but why add more stress?
Added to the fact that you are living at home to save money since you don’t work how would you afford to pay for a wedding?
July is not that far away.
But if you feel you really want to be engaged NOW you can always talk of a long engagement like 2 years so that you won’t start planning till you graduate.
Post # 4
I know your excited and can’t wait but I think your boyfriend is really sweet to think of you to finish school. Planning a wedding is a lot of stress.
Post # 5
@regberadaisy: I appreciate your feedback. My bf and I plan on having a destination wedding with only our immediate family (6 people) in which my father is paying for. I guess at this point, in my mind I don’t want to be spoon fed excuses. I also cant help but think Ok I can wait until I graduate, but then how long after I graduate, ya know…
Thanks again 🙂
Post # 6
@mari328: Thank you for your feedback, I like to get other opinions.
Post # 7
I agree with your boyfriend. As soon as your engaged it feels like tons of pressure to plan and get everything done that your focus will be on the wedding and no longer on your studies (even if you decide to have your wedding a year later, 2 years later, etc…you will have wedding on the brain and want to get everything done ASAP). I kinda wish I waited til I was done with school because I just don’t care. The wedding is more important to me. I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow and I can’t even think about it. I’m too busy on here or looking up wedding stuff.
Time will fly and before you know it you will be engaged. Just be a little more patient. I can’t believe it’s MID November already. I feel like the semester JUST started!
Post # 8
@MarieChristine: I hate to say this, because I KNOW it’s not what you want to hear, but I think your SO has a good point! I have been engaged less than two weeks and will have 2 years before the actual wedding – and I’m already feeling the stress and pressure of it all!
I highly suggest getting involved on the “waiting” boards! They were a HUGE help to me while I was waiting for Fiance to propose.
If you really can’t wait to be engaged (and trust me, we all can understand that!), @regberadaisy: has a good point about having a long engagement.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone, I appreciate every comment. My thinking is just he could ask now, and we get married after I finish up school. He doesn’t see it that way, so I am just going to remain patient.
For all of you women in school, and have papers due. Move from one stressful event to another 🙂 Get started on that paper and less planning lol 🙂
Post # 10
I agree with the previous posts, that it’s not that far away and your boyfriend is being very considerate. Just being engaged can be stressful because you want to think about the wedding, regardless of when you’re planning to get married.
Post # 11
Hey, you are looking at rings! That’s a shiny silver lining to all of this. I think your boyfriend is on to something. You should focus on one big event at a time.
Post # 12
I feel like you perhaps feel like he is dragging his feet on this or maybe will not ask and is making up excuses?
On the plus side for you that many other waiting ladies do not get is that you guys are actually going to look at rings! So that’s def a move in the right direction. 🙂
Also, I know you said your father has offered to pay for the wedding. But I have heard many stories of other girls on here who’s parents offered to pay. Then when the wedding was real and in the foreseeable future they backed out. Or actually had a figure in mind that was MUCH lower than the actual wedding cost.
So I encourage you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend to both start saving towards the wedding now. You’ll be better off knowing you have some of your own money to spend rather than to depend all on others.
Also you might want a destination wedding now but when you really start planning you might change your mind. I started off looking at desination wedding as well and decided we wanted a local wedding with everyone there instead.
Food for thought. 🙂
Post # 13
My SO and I are in the same boat. I’m finishing a practicum in 3 weeks and he says he doesn’t want to propose until after I’m done.
We already have the ring, and I’m getting so anxious and excited. But at the same time, I know it’s most wise to wait until I’m done school. I know I’ll want to meet up with everyone to show off the ring, share the proposal story, start planning, etc. and it’s really hard to do that when school is bogging you down (school is always getting in the way of my personal life!).
Hopefully he won’t wait too long to propose after you’re done! Enjoy ring shopping next week knowing that you’ll only have to wait a few more months until you can wear your ring forever!
Post # 14
I think that your boyfriend has a good point, but I don’t think that you not being graduated is a reason for you not to be engaged. Engagement is just a stepping stone in a relationship, not a hurdle to a marriage. I think you can be engaged and not have to immediatly start planning, so I think you should explain that to him.