Post # 1
I need advice. I’ve been friends with Maid/Matron of Honor for over 8 years, best of buds. So obviously I asked her to be my maid of honor and she accepted. But last August we had a falling out and have rarely talked since. Last week she emailed me saying she was having financial hardship and will no longer be to fly down days prior to my wedding. Mind you, I paid for the flight and bridesmaid dress. She goes on to tell me, she’s flying down the day of the wedding and leaving that very same evening. I’m having my bachelorette party 2 days prior to my wedding and she won’t be attending or my rehearsal dinner. I don’t want any awkwardness or animosity on my wedding day. I want to be surrounded by people who genuinely love me and are happy for share my day.
What should I do? Should I accept this or shall I just find someone else to step in? I’m scared if I ask her to step down, our friendship will never to be repaired.
Post # 3
I would say ask her to step down. If you paid for her flight and her dress and she can’t even be there with you prior to your wedding for the festivities, I would say she doesn’t care too much about the friendship. Did she say why she wasn’t coming in to town early? Did something come up or is she just being mean?
Post # 4
I guess it would depend what happened when you had a “falling out”. If you honestly don’t think you will repair your friendship with her then I would just ask her if she really wants to come and give her an out if she would like. That seems like a very stressful day for the both of you, but if she is willing to come then I would let her.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
I think you can gracefully offer an way out. Bridal party demotions don’t seem to go so well, but I think that you can express concern about the responsibilities being a burden on her. She may be grateful that you recognize this and may opt to step back.
Post # 6
She was nice about it and explained she was going through finacial problems.
Post # 7
I would ask her to step down if you’re sure the fallout you had officially changed your friendship. If you truly don’t believe it’s ever going to be the same again, and she’s clearly not excited about being in the wedding, then offer her a way out. If you want to repair the friendship and think you could go back to how it was, then find a way to come to terms with her not being there.
Coming from somewhere who’s been there, I’d do some soul searching before making a choice, because you don’t want to regret it. Good luck!
Post # 8
I would NOT ask her to step down. You paid for her flight, but who is paying for her food and lodging while she is there? Who would be paying for her to go out for your bachelorette party? Is she taking time off work to be there early that she can’t afford?
I would MAYBE find a way to gracefully let her know that if it’s too much you’d understand her not being there, but not because you feel like she’s bailing out.
You say you hardly talk to her…are you reaching out to her too?
Post # 10
I would not ask her to step down, it’s late in the game and everything’s paid for.
I would try to have an honest talk with her about what’s going on in your friendship. It seems like there’s hesitancy or unsaid bad feelings between you if you’re paying for everything and yet she still doesnt want to come early.
Post # 11
Your right and I definitely don’t want to be a burden on anyone. No, I have barely have reached out to her too. Every time we talk it’s short. But I’m going to call her and discuss the situation.