(Closed) I need advice dealing with unruly neice and MIL

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1026 posts
Bumble bee

But you can call the niece out on her poor behavior. Especially if the parents aren’t doing anything. She will learn not to treat you with disrespect if you do not allow her to get away with it. 

As for as your Mother-In-Law, unless she is willing to tell the DR that her files are being gone through, there isn’t much you can do without causing a major blow out. I’m assuming that the SIL was silent during this exchange because she knew she was in the wrong and could potentially lose her job. 

Post # 4
8104 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

“He’s had enough of his neice acting this way and no one stopping her” — Sorry, but this one is 100% on the kid’s mom. I would report this. I’m sure you could do it anonymously, and if they “suspect” that it was you, so what. That’s a horrible violation and who knows who else she’s doing it to?

“we have to take the neice with us” — No you don’t. Saying “no” to family is hard at first, but it gets easier and easier every time. Pretty soon, you’re wondering “what was wrong with me before, doing all that crazy shizz for all these crazy people?”

Post # 5
515 posts
Busy bee

I would have already called the doctor’s office. Absolutely. That is not acceptable in any way, shape, or form. The SIL and the SIL’s mother should both lose their jobs. I’m assuming the office mananger had some involvment in this.

Post # 6
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is a cop out answer, but I think your Darling Husband should do what he feels is right. Having someone go through files could get the doctor into serious trouble, and I can understand the temptation to phone the doctor, perhaps anonymously. Needless to say, there’s no point phoning the office manager (SIL’s mother). But I can also understand the feeling to stay out of it. 

Post # 8
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You absolutely need to call the doctor’s office. This is ridiculous.

Post # 12
1777 posts
Buzzing bee

If everyone has had enough, then everyone needs to start calling the niece on it in front of the parents if they won’t step up.  If the parents get tired of hearing others reprimand their child, maybe they’ll take it more seriously.  If they don’t, well there isn’t much hope.  

When she said,”“Hey Mamaw, I read your file today while I was working with mommy!” I would have said “That’s too bad.  Those records are private and none of your business, your mother could get fired for allowing that.” 

I would call the doctor and let them know what’s happening.  It sounds like Mother-In-Law doesnt want to get the doctor in trouble, but the next patient may not be so considerate.  He needs to know so that he has a chance to correct the problem behavior.

I would also not take the neice to visit for Thanksgiving. Tell the parents she’s too difficult and disrespectful, we’re not going to spend our day dealing with her behavior.  If the niece actually has some consequences maybe she’ll decide to become more civilized. 

Post # 13
1777 posts
Buzzing bee

If you like the doctor (just not his staff – your relatives) – I would try to just discuss it with him specifically first rather than file an official complaint.  Large fines can be assessed, and you might want to give him a chance to correct the staff problem first before taking it official.  If you don’t get the sense he’s taking it seriously, then I’d by all means go official.  I’d try to catch him through an answering service after hours since if you call the office the relatives may not let you through or may not leave a message.  You can even tell the service (or the call doc who is covering) that you must speak directly to him regarding concern over a HIPAA violation that needs resolution.  He’ll call back.

Post # 14
8682 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

BakerBee16:  that is horrible. Whilst I know my gut instinct would be to report it I think it is wise to stop and think about the ramifications of doing so. Is it possible that SIL would stop you Mother-In-Law from seeing the grandchild? How would Mother-In-Law feel about that?

I think if anyone needs to do something about the medical records issues then it’s your Mother-In-Law. It should be her decision to report it.

As for the grandchild, I agree with other posters. Call her on her shit but only when she does something directly to you or you witness her doing it to someone else. Do not intervene if she is just throwing a no real reason tantrum because whilst tantrums are annoying it is up to her parents how they discipline that. But as I said if she makes direct comments towards people then it is on for young and old.

If your Mother-In-Law decides not to take it further do you know a police officer? My cousin is a cop and if this was my niece I would get him to get one of his colleagues to come over and talk to her about how illegal it was. Give her a right good scare.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  j_jaye.

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