Post # 1
My husband to be doesnt like being around a lot of people and with that being said he has a small family compare to me my family is like nearly 4X’s as much. And we dont want a big wedding but at least have close family and Friends there. But my problem is how can i cut down my list we limited our guess to a 100 people so about 50 each But for my side family and friends is more then 50 and everybody is close to one another and if i dont invite someone they will find out and idk what to say if i cant invite them. and some of my family that are aunties and uncles i dont care to invite because they havent been there for me or my family. but if i dont invite them they could use it aganist me… idk if i confused any of you but, i could go on and on and not make any sense i am just having a hard time with cutting down on my list. I know i said early we made a limit to a 100 guest but really if i could limit it to way less then that would be better for us when it comes to the food part of it. can anyone offer me some advice on how to choose guess and what to say to those who arent invited because they will find out and i dont want them to just show up! HELP!
Post # 3
Invite whom YOU want, not whom anyone else wants. Who are you close to? Make a list of those people you want to be there and can’t imagine the day without. Don’t invite anyone you don’t want there, especially if it’s only out of obligation that you considered them.
Most people know not to ask why they aren’t invited if they don’t receive an invitation. If someone does have the guts to ask, you can say you want a small wedding. No further explanation necessary.
I really don’t understand your mention of people using your guestlist against you. Are people really that juvenile, selfish and petty? If that is remotely a concern, don’t invite them since they don’t care about you at all. Don’t let them bully you. End of story. As an adult, you’re going to have to learn how to stand up for yourself and if they can’t respect you and your wishes, then you don’t need them in your life.
Post # 4
i understand where you’re coming from. my family alone is bigger than his family and friends 😛
i say start with immediate family, and then work out who you need to have, who you’d like to have and who you could live without.
if someone isn’t invited and gets upset even though you talk to them, don’t let it bother you because they’re not worth ruining your big day.
Post # 5
we had the same issue except it was his family that was twice as large as mine. we ended up not doing a 50/50 split on the guest list. it bothers my mom some but there really wasn’t much i could do about it. it doesn’t really bother me that much because they’re going to be my family soon enough.