(Closed) I need advice quickly!

posted 3 years ago in Pets
Post # 2
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

You absolutely cannot adopt Finn without your husband on board, that just isn’t a possibility unfortunately. I’m sure Finn WILL find a good home, with people who are willing and able to care for him. It is NOT fair to jump him around different homes or “test run” him in your house to see how it works. You did the right thing by sending him to a rescue and giving a more prepared family the opportunity to adopt him. I know its hard, but trust that the rescue will do the best they can to give Finn a loving home. 

Post # 3
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

That’s not the kind of decision that you take on your own. Sorry. I think you  shouldn’t take the cat if your husband is against it. 

Post # 4
6905 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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zoey830 :  What everyone else said.  Also what your husband said – I’ve had 2 cats and a dog in a 2-bedroom house and while it was feasible, it wasn’t the best situation. I can’t imagine making it 2 dogs and a cat instead.  We had fur everywhere and it was mostly caused by one of the cats.  Plus you’ll need to invest in a scratching post, litter box, more food, etc.  Cram that all into a small house and you will be cramped – again, trust me on that one!  Our “cat room” in a 3BR house always smelled a little and guests did not really like sharing with the cat stuff though that was the only place we could put the spare bed.  Logistical nightmare.

Finn will be okay. No shelter in their right mind would go to the expense of neutering and shots if they didn’t expect that animal to be adopted.  Think of his happiness as well as your own.

Post # 5
1591 posts
Bumble bee

Can’t really get a pet unless the people you live with are on board. It’s not fair to continually push him on this. 

Post # 6
2569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

You did the right thing by letting him get fixed and able to find a good home. I want a third kitty but my husband isn’t on board. Maybe one day, but not now. 

Its best for Finn this way. 

Post # 7
8908 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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zoey830 :  It is such a shame that your husband doesn’t agree with you but it kind of takes two. Sadly you will just have to move on and be safe in the knowledge that Finn is being well looked after and will be given a wonderful home. I am sorry you are sad, I would be sad too. 

Post # 8
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

View original reply
zoey830 :  Aww I know how you feel. Donkey years ago, I grew very attached to my housemate’s kitten. They rescued her from a tree and made our place her home. When the lease was up they did not take the kitten Lily with them! I was staying with new flatmates and no pets are allowed. I missed Lily very much and drove to that suburb one day to see if she was around. (I bought some cat food just in case.) I called out her name a few times, and very hesitatingly she made herself seen. Broke my heart when I saw how malnourished and pitiable she had become. Could not leave her there alone so I walked around and saw an elderly lady sitting outside her garden and asked if she could feed Lily and take care of her. Anyway, Finn will be better taken care of than Lily. Because of circumstances you cannot take Finn in under your care but another good family will! 

Post # 10
5938 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
zoey830 :  I can totally see why are feeling sad, though. I would feel the same way. Even though you didn’t know kitty for long, you knew him enough to want him to have a good home and you worry about him. I agree with everyone, though. Your husband would have to be 100% on board. I’d love to sneak another dog in, but I think that might be the one thing that my husband would divorce me over. :-p

Post # 14
11381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
zoey830 :  ugh I can see why it hurts, his eyes look like they’re looking right into your soul! 

Post # 15
650 posts
Busy bee

Oh my, how sad for you. You did the right thing, and if the rescuer you gave him to is as good as the Vet Tech stated, she’ll make sure he ends up in the best home. 

I know objectively the cat should be adopted jointly, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I’d be tempted to keep him as well in your shoes, so you’re a stronger woman than I. 

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