(Closed) I need advice to get over this sad feeling

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

Why would you want to marry him? Ugh. No thanks. 

I firmly believe if a guy wants to marry you, he will move mountains to make it happen.

Post # 3
Member
1859 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Do you need a proposal? If you both want to get married and you want to TCC sooner rather than later can you make a decision, get a ring (if you want one) get the wedding over and start trying for those bubbies? 

You might not want to do this at all, so feel free to ignore haha but if you are more keen to get started on a family and just want to be married first that might be a good way to go about it 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend truly wants to marry you. 

Post # 5
Member
1469 posts
Bumble bee

I actually think there is nothing to panic about here. Looks like everything is fine. From your account:

1. Told you he wants to spend his life with you

2. Has proven it by being with you for five years

3.  Is surprised that you want marriage, since you had never mentioned a peep about it before, yet agrees to propose and marry you. agrees to everything.  

So looks like everything is fine. Just be excited that a proposal is coming. 

Forever is a long time. If you have already decided on him, and he has decided on you, I don’t think a proposal timeline is necessary in this instance. 

Post # 6
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I agree with Peachytalk. I think some people are just fine with being in a relationship and never getting married and I think he assumed that that applied to the two of you since you never discussed a desire to get married before. But now that he knows how you feel and he says he still wants to move forward in the relationship, then it seems like you’re both on the same page again. You didn’t give him an ultimatum, you just expressed the timeline you see things happening, especially since you want kids. I think everything’s ok.

Post # 7
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

You have never once mentioned wanting to get married? I am not surprised he hasn’t asked, then! People have children without being married, so it is possible it never crossed his mind even though you’ve had talks about children.

However, you’ve finally breached the topic, and aside from the shock (years of relationship and it comes as a surprise to him!), the outcome was rather amiable as you’ve both decided and agreed. (:

And since you’ve talked about children before and it isn’t an issue, all is well! Congratulations! You’re getting engaged soon! 😀

Post # 8
Member
2118 posts
Buzzing bee

Some men don’t see marriage as essential.

Your SO said he wanted to have a family with you and spend the rest of his life with you. That is commitment.

When you said you wanted to get married (after never mentioning it before) he was at first shocked but shortly after said that yes, he would like to marry you too.

I can see why you are disappointed, it would have been nice if he came to this conclusion without you brining marriage up.. but it is what it is and it seems like you will be getting engaged soon. Try not to get caught up in the details.

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