(Closed) I need advice. *vent*

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

He should be willing to push the wedding back while you guys work these things out, may I ask how old he is? It sounds like he has some growing up to do or he is just a huge mamma’s boy and always will be…

Post # 4
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m having trouble following your story. You want to push your wedding back…because he doesn’t give you an O, his nephew doesn’t like you or you got engaged too fast? Which issues do you need to resolve before the wedding?

Post # 6
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@dulcelove: Have you NEVER had an “O”? Or just not with him?

Post # 7
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m confused.  Is his weight the reason you can’t O?  That doesn’t make sense to me.  There are many ways to skin that proverbial cat, have you tried others?  Did you O with the first guy, or are you saying you didn’t O with him becuase he didn’t know how to use his equipment?  If you’ve NEVER O’d, it may be your equipment…not that you’re not capable of it, but most women don’t O just through intercourse. 

Post # 8
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

It defintiely sounds like you have a lot of issues that need to be resolved before marriage. But one big thing, his losing weight will NOT make a difference in the "O" factor. Overweight, underweight or perfect weight, the "O" could happen if things were working well. If you aren’t enjoying things with him you need to let him know what he needs to do to get you there.

Post # 10
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

How do you know that is the reason? 

Post # 12
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

I agree with so many of the PP’s (many women can’t O through intercourse).  It truly has to do with exploration in the bedroom and being willing to let yourself be “open” to the possibility of having an O.  Communication with your partner IS so very important. 

Being an older bride (39), I had several other partners…slim, thick, muscular, chubby…endowed and not so endowed…longer and shorter…and it truly has to do with mental and physical chemistry and communication. 

You can work on this TOGETHER!  I would try to avoid commenting about his weight because it can really interfere with your relationship.  Only be encouraging, like ask him to take a walk with you and prepare healthier meals together.  Also, do some soul-searching regarding your true feelings regarding your fiance’.  Is there something other than achieving the big O that is interfering with your relationship?

Post # 13
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Lots of women can’t orgasm (we’re all adults here, we don’t need code words) through straight intercourse.  I know I can’t.  It’s a blow to FI’s ego (and every man I’ve been with before him) but I know the issue is just with me, not him.  That’s certainly no reason not to marry someone if everything else is great.

With respect to the mama’s boy mentality, that could definitely be a problem. If you’re not ready to marry him, don’t.  You’ve got to be willing to work on these issues with him, however, or let him go so he can find someone that will accept him for who he is and won’t try to change him.

Post # 14
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

When I first met SO, things were less than spectacular in the bedroom. I found myself thinking of other men and I was so frustrated that I couldn’t get into it. He just wasn’t doing it for me. THEN I decided we would try different things to see what worked and what didn’t work. It took a year of being together before we got our groove and now I never think of other men and would never want another man. It’s still very rare for me to reach that point during intercourse, but it happens occasionally. Don’t be afraid to get more involved and take care of yourself if he isn’t hitting it right.

Post # 15
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I can raise my hand as someone who can’t usually orgasm through straight intercourse alone. I need something else to help stimulate, and my husband isn’t offended by that at all. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to use his equipment – you just need a little extra something to make it happen.

Post # 16
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Like other Bees have said, it may have nothing to do with his size OR his “size”, (unless you are not physically attracted to him because of it).  Lots of women need something other than intercourse to have an orgasm.  Have you tried other positions that might stimulate you more?  If you CAN have an orgasm with him in other ways, and he is willing to make sure you get there, I don’t see why not having one through intercourse would be a relationship-deal breaker, (www.bettersex.com is a reliable company with products and videos that may help you out as well).  If he has one and is done, and leaves you unhappy every time, then I would be concerned.

The OTHER issues sound more like things that need to be worked on.  Have you guys tried couples counseling?  I would look into it…you may be able to find one who also has training as a sex therapist and could help you in that department, too, if you feel like you need it.

 

 

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