(Closed) I need better wording please.

posted 7 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i have no idea what cws weekend is and why that effects your transportation?

i would just put, “for your convenience, we are pleased to offer complimentary transportation to and from the festivites (or between the wedding and X hotel). please check the box if you plan to utilize our shuttles”

Post # 5
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’d make them pick one of two options like: 

___ Thanks, I’d love a ride!

___ No thanks, I prefer to drive myself

 

ETA: I didn’t see that you’re going to pick people up from their homes (super nice btw)… I think you should make that clear because if I saw that invite I would assume that it meant only non-local guests. Maybe something like “We want our guests to fully enjoy our celebration, so we are happy to offer door-to-door transportation to and from your home for the evening”

Post # 6
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

How about:

___ Yes! We would like transportation for ____ people.

___ No, thanks!

Post # 7
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@CorgiTales:

I think corgi nailed it. 

It is awesome that you are doing this for your guests, btw.

The topic ‘I need better wording please.’ is closed to new replies.

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