(Closed) I need divorce advice. Any bees been there? (long, sorry)

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MrsPanda99:  part of the disorder is being mean. I don’t know the entire situation but my sister suffers with this and even when “she was fat” as you say about your SIL, she was still struggling mentally with her disorder. I agree that your SIL needs help-I worry about this same thing potentially happening with my sisters (future) kids. Thankfully, my sister is in therapy and seeing doctors regularly.

My point is, ED are very complicated and personality types are not always what they seem. A little compassion goes a long way.

I hope things work out for the best for your family.

Post # 49
Member
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MrsPanda99: I’m coming late to this thread, but was wondering if you have an update. Those poor children. Whether or not he’s still with his wife, I hope your brother put them in regular therapy asap because these issues are not ones that will go way if the mom’s out of their lives (or if she works on her eating disorder).

Post # 50
Member
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsPanda99:  your brother needs to sit with an attorney, and see what his options are and what his chances are at winning sole custody, it appears he might have a strong case being that the kids are obviously impacted by what she is doing. Its clear the mother doesn’t see the damage she is doing to her children! I am sorry he has to go through this.

Post # 51
Member
11519 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsPanda99:  I’m really glad this situation is finally on it’s way to being resolved.  It sounds like your brother leaving was the kick in the pants that SIL needed.  The trick is that everyone needs to follow through.  She needs treatment.  He doesn’t come back until she’s entered treatment and has been to a counsellor.  I think family therapy is also a great idea, it sounds like they’re all hurting and need to talk out their issues.  The fact that HER parents are on board is HUGE.  Hopefully they’ll be willing to support her getting treatment financially and won’t throw money at fancy lawyers to hide the fact that she’s sick.  Once she’s getting help she might actually be a less horrible human being.  I have a few friends who have suffered with eating disorders and while they were in really bad mental states my otherwise wonderful friends became awful human beings.

Post # 52
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

Sounds to me like she’s willing at this point to give him custody. Hopefully your brother can get the kids into therapy, obviously your neice is well on her way into an eating disorder and needs to get some major work to build some self-image and esteem beyond her body (I remember you post about her).

My aunt is a single mother and lost one of her kids to her IDIOT ex-husband for years and years. It’s really hard to change the custody situation. So hopefully he gets full custody right away. And if he does, and she comes from money, she’ll be the one paying him. 

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