Post # 1
- Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar
I am getting married on APril 12 of this year and unfortunately due to our budget we wont be able to invite our friends only family. This honestly makes me really sad since we do have some great friends that have been there for us all throughout our 11 year realtionship. My question is, do you think it will be rude to do a small engagement/celebration at a trendy bar or restaurant with just friends? If we do this i am wondering if it will be rude to split the bill with everyone…i am just really confuse. I dont want to be rude but at the same time we unfortuantely dont have extra money to pay for everyones drinks or food if we do this. ugh!!! this is so frustrating!
Any advise please would help! and please dont judget!
Post # 3
@katherin788: if you can’t afford to do it out, can you host them at home? buy a few bottles of cheap wine, make sangria or some punch, get some snack trays etc?
you could have a dessert night – invite people at 8, buy a few cakes/sweet trays from the grocery store and make some cookies! with a few cheap bottles of wine, it’d be really fun! and honestly, if you spent 50 $ on you and your fi’s portion of the original plan – you should be able to do an at home hosted night for a similar amount or not much more. you could also ask your mum, or close friends to chip in with a favourite recipe they make etc.
Post # 4
My motto is that it’s not about the money, it’s about the friendship. Why don’t you consider something simple at home or at a cheaper venue. Pizza at a local place or a BBQ in your backyard kind of thing. Or, maybe host a potluck to celebrate the joy. If friends of ours did something like this, I know we’d be delighted to chip in or bring something to celebrate the moment with them.
Good luck! And congrats!
Post # 6
@katherin788: I don’t think I would feel too great about hosting a party at a restaurant and splitting the bill. That is just me. Is there any way you could do like a pot-luck or backyard celebration and invite everyone so that you wouldn’t have to ask them to pay and you could maybe afford to throw? I would be more than happy to attend a pot-luck and bring something to celebrate, but I would feel a little put off by going to a trendy venue for someone’s party and asked to pay. I most likely would never be there unless I was asked to go. You could also throw a pot-luck or BBQ at a park and it would cost you very little. Do you have any parents or friends who would maybe help to throw you one? I don’t think anyone would care where you have it, it is the celebration that counts, so I would suggest going with a friendly BBQ type party. Good luck!
Post # 7
@katherin788: No judgement here, I totally feel you. It seems to be more common now, in our case it’s due to the fact that having the actual wedding is so damned expensive. In our case we’re doing similar to what you’re doing. We’re having a very small wedding for family (and a few very close friends) and that weekend our friends are throwing us a big super casual party. I’d suggest doing this:
a. don’t tell poeple that your wedding is for family and a few close friends, just say it’s for family onle. This iwill help avoid people thinking ‘wait so I’m not a close friend?’
b. be up front and be positive, your attitude toward the after-party will help shape your friends attitudes toward the party.
c. be honest. what our friends started asking about the wedding we were honest that due to money constraints this is what we were doing. if you’re up front most people will understand.
d. in the end some of our friends offered to take over the planning of the ‘after party’.
e. asking people to split the bill is bordering in the awkward territory. either make it very clear up front (which may bur some people the wrong way), or find a party venue that is more in your price range.
Wish you the best!
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar
Thank you so much for the suggestions! i think i may go that route…i still dont know where it will be held. But perhaps doing it at home may help a lot!