(Closed) I need help…

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
4717 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

uncltredpearl:  My SO and I come as a package deal… If I’m going out with friends, or am invited out, I say, “Let me check with SO, and I’ll get back to you!”  If someone specifies that it’s a girls night or something, that’s completely different.  Sometimes my SO doesn’t want to come out with my friends… that’s okay too.  Maybe your approach to it leads your friend to believe this is okay?

Post # 3
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee

uncltredpearl:  It sounds like your friend doesn’t want to be a third wheel. I’m sure she’s not attracted to you sexually but maybe she thinks she’ll feel a little left out hanging out with a couple. Or that you’ll pay more attention to your Girlfriend instead of your friend.

It’s silly and a little childish but it’s quite possibly how she feels.

Post # 4
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

uncltredpearl:  Make it clear that even though you’re friends your lives have changed and your Girlfriend, soon to be Fiance, will have to come to future hangouts. It’s not fair to leave her out and it’s awkward for a female friend to specifically ask her to be left out. This girl has to know she’s wrong for even making that request. Your Girlfriend is right that you should have stuck up for her, tell your Girlfriend that you will bring this conversation up to your friend and next time this won’t be an issue. If after your conversation this girl tries this tactic again, tell your Girlfriend and then tell the girl that either Girlfriend comes or you won’t be going.

My boyfriend would never take this shit because he knows that if it were a reversed situation he would not be pleased and he would feel disrespected.

Post # 6
Member
768 posts
Busy bee

Does she get along with your Girlfriend and viceversa? 

Post # 9
Member
14661 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well if he brings a date, and you bring a date, then she’s the odd ball out.  Maybe she just doesn’t like being the spare tire and wants to be able to hang out and talk to YOU.  Is she friends with your GF?  I don’t see the problem.  My friends have never said NOT to bring my SO/DH, most the time I don’t bother ask or bring Darling Husband.  He comes if it’s a party or big gathering social situation, but not if I’m just going to see 1 or 2 friends.

Post # 10
Member
768 posts
Busy bee

uncltredpearl:  I see.  If you are sure she is not into you, my next guess would be that maybe she is protective of you in a way. I would straight up ask her if she has anny issues with your Girlfriend though.

I understand why your Girlfriend feels that way so I’d also clarify with your friend that SO should be invited or to expect her to come to outings

Post # 12
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If I were you I wouldn’t go in this situation. My fiance and I go everywhere together. If someone told me sorry you can’t bring your fiance than I will be like sorry I can’t come. 

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