Post # 1
My fiancée and I have been together 5 years. We have a child together. He has 2 step kids from a previous marriage who I have always gotten along with and lovwithout. My soon to be dh’s parents and I are very close.
Problem my step son who is 10 and has ADHD and obstinate defiant disorder recently has been acting out more than usual and is now lying about important big stuff. Like saying I said that I would break his phone, saying that I lock hI’m out of the house ect. He spilled his guts and lies to my mother in law. We are super close but now she acting angry/irritated with me and it hurts.
what do I do?
Post # 2
Meant to say *and love with all my heart.
Post # 3
It is generally called Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Someone suffering from it typically needs counseling and help to build trust and positive interactions. If his behaviour only manifests itself with you, then the family definitely needs professional help to get his behaviour under control sooner rather than later. But many children with this disorder display the behaviours in most/all circumstances, so I would imagine that the grandparents see that he has issues already. Regardless, he and the family need professional intervention through counseling and possibly medication. He needs to understand that you are not a threat to him, and the two of you probably need intervention to facilitate new behaviours and a different relationship.
Post # 4
Bump for a fast moving board
Post # 5
But what do I do about Mother-In-Law acting weird around me? I love her. I don’t want this.
Post # 7
“But what do I do about ME?!“
Take some time to gain some perspective. Your stepson getting the help he needs is WAY more important than focusing on you looking bad…
Post # 8
She’s being accused of abusive behavior by a child. That’s alarming and scary on its own, but the fact that someone she loves actually believes it — that’s heartbreaking.
The child’s condition is the priority, but it’s perfectly reasonable for OP to worry about her relationship with this woman she loves. It’s natural. Her perspective is just fine. She can worry about both the child and her relationship with her Mother-In-Law at the same time.
OP, the child needs help ASAP. Getting him treatment is what will remedy this whole situation, even when it comes to your Mother-In-Law. All or most of this stems from his behavior, so focusing on fixing that should calm everything else down.
ETA: what does your husband say about all of this and what is he doing to remedy it? He is the child’s father; he should be taking the lead here.