- 2 years ago
- Wedding: May 2018
I need some advice… I’ve been with my current significant other for about a year and a half now. We are supposed to be getting married in January of 2018, but I’m feeling unhappy. We have different hobbies and interests, which is fine and is probably healthy. However, one of our differences is I like to go out dancing and my fiance doesn’t like bars, at all. I get it, they’re loud (which he hates), filled with smoke and the world is not the safest place right now, but I don’t think asking him to go every once in a while is a big deal. There’s a few other things too and most of it comes us him being an introvert and myself being super extroverted. While I try to understand his POV, I also know that relationships need compromise sometimes and I feel like I compromise a lot more than he does. For example, he’s a video game person, I’m not but if he wants me to play some games with him sometimes, I will. He also likes to participate in tournaments for a particular video game and likes me to come watch him play, most of the time I do go because it makes him happy. But he doesn’t compromise with things I want to do…
He’s also not spontaneous like I am so the “fun” isn’t there a lot. I do understand that excitement and other things do settle down after being with someone long-term. I have tried to talk to him multiple times as this is not the first time I have felt this way and he always gives me excuses… I don’t like bars, why can’t you dance at home or I don’t want other guys looking at you or something happening to us while were out.
My response is usually honest, but not rude by any means. I usually come back with anything can happen anywhere at anytime and guys can look at me anywhere…I have even been “hit on” at work before… Most of the time he doesn’t say anything after that.
However, I find myself thinking of my ex and how much fun we always. It didn’t matter what we did or if we even had anything to do, it was always easy and fun. I mean we had our disagreements, but who doesn’t. Him and I were alike in a lot of ways. I broke up with him because he stopped wanting to do things that I would suggest and it wasn’t just a few times, it became a common occurance. I’ll give an example… there was a gaint city waterslide coming to town and my mom and I really wanted to go…I knew this would be something my ex would enjoy too so I said hey we want to go, come with us! He didn’t want to, but winded up going and having a blast! So it’s not like things I knew he would hate…
Anyways, I talked to him about things that were upsetting me and he apologized and tried to make it up to me…what he did (I won’t go into detail) was by far one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me and you don’t find guys that do those things often. But I never gave him the chance to really fix it.
Shortly after the break up, I started seeing my, now, fiance…
My ex and I still talk on occasion (I was close with his 6 year old niece and his family will invite me to birthday parties and all) and even now if he knows I’m coming around, he’ll sometimes bring reese cups because those are my favorite.
Side note as well** My current fiance is not my parent’s favorite person. They loved my ex and still do. My mother has even told me that I act differently and I’m not myself.
Am I in the wrong here, am I crazy?? HELP!!!