(Closed) I need help…

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m sorry you’re feeling like that!!  I find myself having similar thoughts sometime but I just say to myself, snap out of it!  We had a terrific wedding (with some flaws) but it’s over and there’s nothing I can do to change that. 

Post # 4
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Just want to say I understand. I’ve spent far too much time thinking about what went wrong instead of what went right. I’m working to snap out of it also. My wedding video which I just got helped it allowed me to see all of the fun that I had that day. The video is much beter than the pics.  I’ve vented about my pics before, they may seem better once I have my album.

Post # 5
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

maybe you should take a break from wedding blogs – it may just seem like everyone is talking weddings, but outside of here that’s def not the truth. Step back and enjoy being married and see how you feel after a while..

Post # 6
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Im so worried that this is going to happen to me too!! Except its happening before my wedding has even gotten here!!! We are going to a destination wedding this upcoming weekend and I keep thinking how theirs is going to be so much better than ours. How can our normal wedding beat a destination wedding in Colombia with all of these planned activities!? Ugh I hate this feeling!!! So I (sort of) know how youare feeling right now! Sorry I dont have any advice 🙂

Post # 7
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Weddings just seem to bring these feelings out in people!  It is hard to devote yourself to an event for such a long time and then just stop.  

I would try to concentrate my energy to something else until these feelings pass.  Do you have a hobby?  Pour yourself into it and see if you can get your mind off of weddings.   Or maybe work on enjoying being a newlywed and develop your relationship with you hubby?

Post # 8
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Ahh! A friend just emailed me almost the same thing! I know that everyone dreams that their wedding will be the perfect day, when in fact, it’s almost impossible for it to be that! Things definitely went wrong at my wedding…or should I say, not as I had planned. My mom was a royal pain in the butt and we forgot a few things when we got to the church, but hey! It happens!

I look back at a few of those things now, and it makes me appreciate future weddings all that much more. my wedding was a really stressful day, and I look back at it and smile now even though the day was super stressful. I appreciate what brides go through when I go to someone else’s wedding, and when I’m a bridesmaid, I do everything in my power to make sure the bride is comfortable and not stressed out! It just makes me enjoy a wedding that much more.

So, don’t dwell on the stuff that didn’t go the way you had planned, dwell on the fact that you married the most wonderful man and had a beautiful day!

Post # 9
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I went through this. It took me a few months to get over it (especially with another family member planning her own wedding now). It’s tough, and it’s okay to feel like that … trust me. You put a LOT of time and effort into the event, and you want it to be memorable and perfect.

This is how I got over it: everyone thinks this, and future brides will go through the same thing. It’s cyclical. No matter how perfect you might think someone else’s wedding is, they’re probably thinking the same thing you are. There’s no such thing as a perfect anything. Something always goes wrong, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I can honestly say that now, I’ve let it all go and accepted the day as it was. It truly was an amazing day, and I felt amazing, and people are still talking about it. Sure, my flowers we all wrong, and what could have been if I had only worked on some DIY projects a little longer? Eh, it’s all in the past!

You’ll eventually come to peace with it all 🙂 It helps when I look over at my husband and think to myself, “I married this guy.”

Post # 10
Member
21 posts
Newbee

I think that your wedding day was probably as great as everyone is telling you it was. I’m sure your wedding had parts to it that were much better than your friend’s, more unique and special to you in many ways. And honestly, as long as the time after the wedding is awesome, that’s all that matters. 

We had a beautiful day, the weather was perfect, the venue was awesome and the staff organized like a military platoon. The flowers were just what I wanted. Newlywed life though, is not going as I would like it to.

So it just goes to show you, that the day that required months of preparation and money,  may sometimes matter least (unless you had a major disaster/mishap or something happen during, and you didn’t).

Enjoy your hubby and your post-wedding time. And in the future, appreciate being a guest at others weddings:D. It’s the most relaxing and fun job at a wedding.

Post # 11
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Good advice Bumble Bee. Being just a guest is fun.

I agree that newlywed life is harder than I thought. I hope your troubles work out.

It is hard to hear let it go, regarding things that didn’t go right at your wedding from someone who’s day went as planned, especially the weather issue. Although I think my big problem with the weather was hoping that I’d luck out with good weather since I got stuck with a wedding date that I didn’t want.

Post # 12
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think its very easy to focus it on what didn’t go exactly to plan, especially if your friend had a great wedding too. Try to focus on the wonderful parts about your wedding, and keep in mind your friend is probably thinking ‘Misshappy did X better, I should have done that’ too!

Post # 13
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Ugh, I feel for you girl! One of my close friends is getting married this weekend and I can’t help feeling a little jealous… she seems to be getting so much more attention than we got– more showers, more gifts, more friends going out of their way to make it to the wedding… it makes me feel like our day was less special, and that is NOT how I want to be feeling about it!

I would never say anything to her, or to anyone else, so it really helps to have WB to come to and vent this to and breathe 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

MissRain,

I totally agree with you that having WB as a place to vent has been great. I can say things here that I can’t say to my Mom, my sister who is best friend or my husband. I just wish the Newlywed board was a bit more active.

 

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