(Closed) I need Help before I have a nervous breakdown

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

If you are paying and she hasn’t ordered yet then I would just send out an email and say you changed your mind and you want everyone to order a dress from one of the following two websites.  Nothing wrong with changing your mind.

Maybe you could be even more specific with them and tell them 4 dresses they can choose from.  I know I tried to give my girls freedom but none of them cared.  They couldn’t decide on their own so I just chose for them in the end.  Maybe your girls are the same way and that’s why they didn’t write back to you yet.

Post # 5
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree w/amariem25; you’re paying for them, there’s nothing wrong with changing your mind, and it’s very understandable that your BMs not having their dresses even picked out yet when the wedding’s in May could give anyone some anxiety.

Honestly, to speed up the process, I’d probably pick 5-6 dresses in the colors that you have chosen and ask them to pick from those options.  As far as picking things out, it’ll be easier and quicker for your BMs to choose their “favorite” from a few options you’ve preapproved of than for them to scour through the thousands of options available on the hundreds of websites.  I understand giving them the freedom to choose (much kudos; you’re a very sweet bride!) but in this situation, picking ones you like and asking them to pick their fav will probably be the fastest way to make everyone happy.

Good luck! It’ll all work out Smile


**Additional note** I’d probably give them a deadline to respond to, as well, with the message that delivery will take x amount of time so there needs to be x amount of time available if alterations are needed and x amount of time if the dresses have to be dry cleaned.  Explaining in time frames may hurry their decision up a bit and give them a better idea of where you’re coming from!

Post # 7
380 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with changing your mind, especially since most of them haven’t acted on your old instructions anyhow.  And you’re paying for them!

I asked my bridesmaids to choose different dresses (colour and style) because I wanted them to like the dresses, it would be easier for me, and I didn’t want them to look the same either, but then they told me that they want to wear the same dress.  So to make them a little different I’m going to try to change up the accessories (hairpiece, jewelry, etc).  So if you really don’t want them to look all the same, there’s still ways to do that while choosing the dress for them.

It is totally an extra task I didn’t want to have to undertake (choosing their dress and figuring out how to make them different), so I understand your stress. 


Post # 8
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I don’t think there is anything wrong with you changing your mind either, but I am sorry, I like the dress the girl picked out. And I think it is similar to the DB dress, except it is not shiny. The one the girl picked is more soft and flowey.

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