- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
Hi girls, I have spent a decent amount of time lurking the boards but this is my first post.
I have been dating a guy for a little over 2 1/2 years. At around the 1 year mark I started focusing on Mr. Bee’s plan. Things were going well, he mentioned getting engaged in December and we talked about what kind of ring I would like.
Well, at our two year anniversary celebration he gave me a ring… But not *the* ring. A right hand ring with my birthstone was the ring I got that December.
January came and I put Mr. Bee’s backup plan into effect. I focused on my career, I accepted a 3 month assignment in London, I got offered a promotion which I accepted and turned down another promotion which would require a move to Europe. Very successful career-wise, no movement ring-wise.
At the end of February he asked if I was breaking up to him. I explained that I was not but was very let down when December came and went but there was no ring when HE had initially said December.
Fast-forward to May. Still no ring. I told him how disappointed I was and our relationship is broken – I fear irretreivably. My parents said he had never even asked them for my hand. I asked him why and he said he had no excuse – he just hadn’t.
I feel hurt, I feel overlooked, and I feel taken advantage of. I know this does not bode well for a lifetime of happiness but am having trouble ending it. He does not want children and sees no rush, I would like to at least have the option to discuss them.
I am having trouble telling him that I love him but can’t do this anymore. He is a fantastic man but I am seeing that we are so out of sync and have totally different goals. How can I tell him I love him but this isn’t working? That if I do decide I don’t want kids I would be more ok with his lack of timetable but that’s not me right now?
My mother says he can change mind and I have a better shot on the kids issue if I wait this out – but I don’t think you should marry someone hoping they change?
I have been so glum I don’t know what to do or how to explain this to him. Do you girls know what I can say?