(Closed) I need help on invitation addressing!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would use the “and family” line. Then, on your RSVP card, are you having a line like: “We have reserved___ seats in your honor”? Then you could put in the number of people included.

Post # 5
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

On the outised envelope it should read Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Family

On the inside envelope:

Mr. and Mrs. John Jones

and then list the childrens names

Mr. Nick Jones

Mr. Anthony Jones

Ms. Sarah Jones

At least that is how I did it LOL

 

Post # 6
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have a similar question – instead of Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Family….can we just list “The Jones Family” on the outside? And then on the inside put something less formal like Uncle John, Aunt Jane, John Jr., Janette.  Is that way acceptable too???

Post # 7
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

The oldest, most correct form, is to have a write-in lie on the invitation itself where you write in the names of the couple and any minor children who are invited, using the correct form of their social names which is generally their title and surname only (title and firstname only for sons and younger daughters). Like this:

Mr and Mrs Firstname Goodhost

request the honour of the company of

Mr and Mrs Phipps

Master Aloysius, Miss Phipps, and Miss Aspasia

 

Nowadays most people would leave off the title for the children and just use their first names.

When you have all the names on the invitation itself, you put it in an envelope and address it just to the lady of the house (except in the USA where it’s correct to address it to both members of a couple equally). Envelopes going through the mail use the addressee’s business name, which is their title, first name, and surname.

The next-most-correct method, used when you have your invitations engraved with the line “request the honour of your presence” so as to avoid having to write on the invitation itself, is to use two envelopes: you write all the names just as shown above on one envelope with no house-address and put the invitation in that (the “inner envelope”); and then you put that whole invitation into a slightly larger envelope that you address just to the lady of the house (or in the US, to the couple) and stamp and mail that “outer envelope”. That way your guests still get addressed personally by name and still know exactly who is invited, but you aren’t advertising the identity of minor children to the letter-carrier and every paedophile who might rifle through your guests’ mailbox while they are out.

Nowadays many people think the inner envelope is a waste and do without it. If that’s your opinion then the next-best choice is to write in the names on the RSVP card just as shown above, and still address the envelope only to the adults. Personally, I’d go with the write-in line on the invitation and do without the RSVP card as well, since they’re even more of a waste and aren’t really proper form themselves, but if you already have your invitations done and already have the RSVP cards, this is a good option.

Of course, if any of those children are already “out” socially (which usually means eighteen and over, legal adults) they should get their own invitation, but you can put it in the same outer envelope as their parents’ invitation.

Post # 8
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

The outer/inner envelope comes from the days of yore when mail travelled in the elements, on carriages, in the rain, for a lot longer periods of time and oftentimes the outerenvelope looked like crap when it got to the house. A butler/maid would remove the outer envelope and the inner one would tell them who in the household to deliver the note to–this was at a time when people often lived with members of the extended family, spinster aunts and such, so it made sense. THe outer envelope explains whose household the invitation is going to; the inner envelope states who in the household is actually invited.

If you don’t have an inner envelope, you can indicate the invitees on the outside by either “Mr. & Mrs. Doe and Family” or “The Doe Family.” I’m not sure this is the most technically correct method or the most formal, but I doubt the recipients will be confused which is the point, I think. I am personally just doing the parents’ names and any live-in children underneath, first and last names. (“Mr.” is actually “Master” for young kids) and I have no inner envelopes.

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