(Closed) I need help saying “no” to my mother without hurting her feelings.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It doesn’t seem like there is a way to say ‘no’ to your mother tactfully in this case. You say that you’ve told her a million times that you feel this is trivial and a waste of money. I’d try being a bit more blunt and forceful and then just letting it go.

The bottom line is that it’s her money and she gets to choose how she spends it. Just because you’d rather that $1,000 go to something else doesn’t mean that it’ll suddenly wind up in the overall wedding budget. If this is what she desperately wants to do, there isn’t much you can do to stop her other than outright forbid her from doing it.

Post # 5
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I have similar problems. Particularly with the I’m-broke, but-want-to-spend-this-because-it’s-for THE WEDDING!!!! thing. There’s no way to solve the problem except explicitly say you will not accept the money she needs to pay her bills. Then call the Wedding Party and tell her not to accept the money if your mom forwards it to her. Harsh solution and sure to cause offense, but at least in my case once mom’s mind locks down on something, desperate measures must be taken to get her to de-clamp…

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