(Closed) I Need Help with our Invitation Wording. Advice Please!!!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I love it! If that’s what you want to do, I think this is a very tasteful way to go about it.

I’m going against what everyone else might tell you. Most people will tell you that it’s rude to not invite people to the ceremony and only the reception because it will look like a gift grab. Even some bees will tell you that. But I really like that.

Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Perhaps for the invitation for the reception only, rather than state that you’re exchanging vows privately, just state “Shanda and Jonathon together with their familes invite you to a reception in honor of their marriage on ….”  I think it’s still clear then that it’s the reception only.  Also, you can have your parents let the family members who aren’t invited to the ceremony know that it’s reception only.  That way no one’s surprised (in case they don’t read the invite carefully!).    

Post # 5
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

Remember the Robert Fulghum essay, “All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten”? Somewhere back around kindergarten or grade one, I am betting you were taught that “if you aren’t going to invite the whole class to your birthday party, then don’t tell the whole class about it.” The grown-up etiquette version of that is, you never announce to guests, especially in a written invitation, that you are not inviting them to something. So leave out the “will be married in a private ceremony” phrase, which provokes an inferred subtext of “and you’re not close enough to be invited, nyah.”

If your parents were hosting, you could say

“invite you to a reception in honour of Shanda and Jonathan”

but you really cannot with any decency hold a party in honour of yourself.

The next best wording is simply to name the actual event that you ARE  inviting people to: “dinner”, or a “dinner dance” or a “reception” or a “luncheon”, like this:

Shanda –
AND
Jonathan-
TOGETHER WITH THEIR PARENTS
INVITE YOU TO
A RECEPTION
ON SATURDAY, THE NINTH OF JUNE
AT ONE THIRTY IN THE AFTERNOON

You aren’t likely to have many guests so dense that they cannot figure out what kind of a “reception” it is; and even if they can’t — who cares? They’ll figure it out when they come.

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