(Closed) I need help with what to suggest for "attire!"

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
5521 posts
Bee Keeper

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MrsSmith12:  personally I think the only time you should mention dress code is if it is actually a formal event, or if the venue has certain stipulations (for example, one venue we looked at was strictly no denim, and suits (with ties) for the men). Otherwise, guests should take their cue from the invitations, the venue, etc. 

We made absolutely no mention of dress code on our website or invitations, and all bar one man wore a full suit and tie, and all the women wore dresses and hats. If someone asks you, by all means say something like ‘feel free to dress up if you’d like to!’ but I wouldn’t have a dress code per se. 

Post # 3
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

I have never heard of “summer formal”. Do you really think you have to suggest attire? Unless it’s black tie or you want people to wear a certain color- I would be confident that people know what to wear to a wedding.

 

Post # 4
Member
1113 posts
Bumble bee

https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-guest-attire-cheat-sheet

I’d go with “semiformal” If I were you, however I am not really a fan of telling guests what they should wear.  Most people will get the idea, usually judging by your invitations or the location on your wedding website (if you have one).

Unless it’s a beach wedding, most men will wear a suit and tie (or skip the tie) and if it’s evening, women will wear dressy cocktail attire.  

Another thing you can add is “Formal Reception to Follow” so folks get the point that it’s not casual.  But again, most people have that sort of common sense.

Post # 5
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

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MrsSmith12:  As someone who greatly enjoys being properly dressed for an event, if I were a guest, I would find “summer formal” an incredibly helpful description of what you’re looking for. What’s the floor of the event like though, other than concrete? If dirt is invovled, you might want to suggest something other than sharp heels.

We’re doing a evening cocktail reception, so we went with “cocktail attire” on our website. That way no one will come in with a ballgown or a jersey dress (well, hopefully).

Post # 6
Member
9110 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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MrsSmith12:  I’m going to agree with PP and say that you don’t need to specify attire unless it’s black tie. In your attempt to be helpful you may just confuse your guests more!

Post # 7
Member
2953 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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MrsSmith12:  I appreciate a tip if the hosts are ok with formal wear. It’s not everyday you get to don your fanciest duds. However, there is no “summer formal.” And what would be “semi-formal?” If a black dress for a woman and a black suit for a man is common attire, isn’t that semi-formal? If so, why would you have to write any of it down for guests?

Post # 8
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Unless you’re having a black tie event, let your guests dress themselves.

Post # 9
Member
9110 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think it’s also important to keep in mind that formal clothes or fancy decorations do not make the event itself formal – you can’t ask people to wear tuxes and ball gowns through an evite and then serve a buffet with a cash bar. Use your website and invitation to set the tone for the level of formality without flat out telling people what to wear. 

Post # 11
Member
2152 posts
Buzzing bee

Summer formal doesn’t mean anything, so it doesn’t direct your guests on how to dress.

 

Post # 14
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee

I used “garden party” attire as my descriptor. My wedding is in 4 days and in the last 24 hours I’ve had 6 people ask me what to wear. I disagree that people can figure it out by the invite. Would an invite with burlap and lace mean I can wear jeans? No. People want to know.

Post # 15
Member
9110 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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MrsSmith12:  oh I remember it well… that was another motivation for us to have a black tie wedding – the clothes were straightforward! that and a lot of our friends own their own tuxes and loved having an excuse to bust them out  🙂

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