(Closed) I need help….he won't propose until I quit smoking

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
9990 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you tried the patches or gum?

I think cold turkey works for so few people that it can be sabotaging — maybe if you took a picture of your dream gown and glued/taped it to the outside of the cigarette pack, it would remind you why you’re quitting every time you went to grab a cig?  Or a picture of you and your Fiance to remind you?  It won’t be 100% effective, but it could help!


Post # 4
3631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

When my aunt quit, her motivation was she couldn’t get on the kidney transplant list (she has a genetic condition that killed hers) until she did. She quit by reducing her frequency slowly, so instead of smoking 2 packs a day, she started cutting out a smoke break a day, so one less, try that for a few days, then one less, until she was only have one a day, then none. She also got really involved in some new hobbies that she could distract herself with when she got really bad cravings. I know it was INCREDIBLY hard for her, but she has been totally smoke free for over a year now. 

Post # 5
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know people who have taken up yoga while quitting at the same time. It helps them relax and focus on feeling good, rather than wanting a cigarette. Yoga alone probably won’t get you to quit, but it couldn’t hurt.

Post # 6
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Penelopeee:  I’m soo proud of you for making this commitment to quit! It’s not easy and I wish I had some advice for you but you will be in my thoughts and I will be supporting you 100%! 

Post # 7
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Have you tried the e-cigarette? My husband smoked for 15 years and quit this year with that. There are different levels of cartridges (high, medium, low nicotine). It was extremely hard at first, and I turned into his insane personal no-smoking cheerleader. He started the process in March, and he is tobacco/nicotine-free as of 2 weeks ago!

Post # 8
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Penelopeee:  I got a personal vaporizer AKA an e-cigarette. I had a couple of models. It took a couple months for me to quit and exclusivley use it, but I did and I’ve been tobacco-free for 2 1/2 years.

Post # 9
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

My brother quit by switching to an e-cigarette. At first it was a bit tough, but he’d already tried everything else, but once he got used to the new system, and was able to find flavors he liked, he switched over 100%– and how he’s phasing down on the amount of niccotine, but by the end of the year he’ll be a zero, and then he’s going to work on the physical part of wanting the sensation of smoking. 

It’s worked really well for him at least. 

Post # 10
10 posts

I also quit using the e-cigarettes. I smoked 1 pack a day and never thought I could quit. The patch made me sick and I hated the gum. I have been nicotine free for 6 months, I only used the e-cig for 1 week.

Post # 11
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

You can do it!! I’ve heard good things about the e-cigarette and using a quitting couselor/group support program (many states have them for free).

Post # 12
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If being able to spend the rest of your life isn’t MOTIVATION enough, then I’m guessing nothing else is.

Personally, I’d be quitting cold turkey, immediately.

But I understand that bad habits can be hard to break… (I am trying to stop biting / picking at my nails). 

Fortunately, there are LOTS of choices now to help you thru smoking cestation.  Suggest you talk to your Doctor or the Lung Association, they certainly have ways to help.

Honestly quitting will be a Win-Win for both of you… but waaaay more for you, you’ll get THE GUY, THE RING, and lot better health overall, and it is something you’ll want to do anyhow before you have kids (not to mention the simple fact that you will LIVE longer, so making your life commitment to each other, will mean a lot more too, to your Fiance and your Family)

Good Luck


Post # 13
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I quit smoking several years ago. You know what did it? The price of a pack of cigarettes. They hit $4 a pack, and I decided I was done. I had much better things to spend my money on.

This was around the time that Fiance and I got serious as well (he’s a non-smoker), so that was also a motivator.

But think about it. You smoke a pack every few days.. let’s say 2.5 packs a week. That’s $13.75 a week. That’s over $700 a year you’d save!

Not to mention you’d be saving your life. Good luck, you can totally do it!

Post # 15
1258 posts
Bumble bee

Try EVERYTHING until you find what works. You can quit. The right method is out there and you will find it.

For me it was gum. It was also allowing myself to have a cigarette if I thought I couldn’t stand it anymore. I couldn’t look at a cigarette and think “This is my last one ever.” But I could tell myself, “This time, I will chew the gum. If that isn’t enough, I can have a cigarette, but first I will chew the gum.” It took a year and a half, but I slowly weaned myself down to one a week.

And what finally got me to turn the corner was Wellbutrin. Two months on Wellbutrin, and a cigarette made me sick. Like throw up sick. And that was it. Now I still crave one if I’m around it, but only for a split second, and then the memory of being sick from it kicks in, and I don’t even want one anymore.

I still dream I’m smoking, every once in a long while. Which is fine with me, because I don’t know I’m dreaming – I think it’s real! – so it’s like hazard-free smoking. When I wake up, I laugh. 

Good luck! You can do this.

Post # 16
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve also heard good things about the vapor cigarettes.  Like the gum and patches you can get them with nictotine and then switch to non-nicotine.  

Best of luck to you!  I’ve been there, I know it’s not easy!

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