(Closed) I need help….he won't propose until I quit smoking

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

i’ll tell u something if u really love him u’ll quit and get over smoking .. i didn’t say yes to my fiancee untill i was sure that he quit smoking .. he promised me and i belived him and encouraged him .. he should stand beside u  encourage u be ur motivation .. and my suggest to u is to start yuga lessons i think it helps

 

Post # 18
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Chantix worked for me on the habit part but not on the behavior part— once the meds were fully out of my bloodstream (maybe 8 months?) and I found myself in a social setting that was a historic trigger for me, I went right back to smoking. Which really sucked.  Anyway there is another drug that works in a similar way to Chantix but I forget its name; ask your doctor about Rx alternatives and at the same time, get the behavior counselling.  I think all of these meds would be a lot more effective if we spent more time talking about our triggers and how to avoid them.

Post # 19
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Fiance quit using the gum, though he hated that stuff.  I think he weaned himself as fast as he could just to stop chewing that gum!  We have a few friends that quit using the e-cig as well.

Post # 20
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My friend quit using the e-cigarette.  She said it was much easier than she thought.

Post # 21
Member
961 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 1984

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@Penelopeee:  Hi Penelopeee, I am a Registered Nurse working in Critical Care (which in my hospital involves rotations through cardiac care – where most, if not all, of our patients are smokers.) The previous posters have given you really good advice that may help you quit! I would like to add that current research shows that a smoking cessation program that includes multiple therapies (patch and e-cig and counselling for example) works best. Also, it takes on average seven attempts before finally quitting. Successful quitters don’t give up (ironically enough lol.) So find what combination works for you and don’t stop trying! Good luck – you’re doing your body a tremendous amount of good by making this effort.

Post # 22
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Your solution? E-cigarettes!

Post # 23
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Quitting smoking is much harder than people think– if you haven’t smoked please lay off the “if you really loved him, you’d quit” advice.  

You’re right to change your habits– that’s the only thing that’s ever worked for me.  Try to switch up your routine as much as you can, so you make new routines without cigarettes. 

Post # 24
Member
961 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 1984

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@bookworm88:  So true! Smokers know that it’s not good for them and most want to quit and make multiple attempts to do so. Nicotine is an addictive substance which is not easy to stop.

Post # 25
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@bookworm88:  Seriously. I’ve never been a smoker, but watching my husband go through the quitting process was awful!

OP, from my angle as the partner, I just wanted to know what his triggers were so I could be there to help him through it. Let your SO know what you need from him since he’ll be your #1 supporter through this whole thing. If you have a craving, is there anything he can do to distract you? Tell him, hopefully he WANTS to help you! My husband used to smoke after dinner, so we started distracting him by taking the dogs on a long walk together every night after dinner – change up the routine a bit! Probably Too Much Information, but I even offered ahem, sexual favors, if it helped motivate him. :p So there’s always that!

Post # 26
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have quit a couple of times (3 – 1 year each time, currently not smoking) and its so much easier to quit the nicotine via the patch.  My suggestion is to make sure on that last night, you put on a patch, smoke your last cig (you’ll be fine, I promise) and go to sleep.  As long as you purchased the correct dosage, you won’t have cravings when you wake up.  The #1 issue though, is how will you deal with stress without it?  #2 issue is what are you going to do with your hands to get rid of the actual smoking behavior?  I don’t suggest turning to blow pops.  I would try to grab almonds, grapes, apple slices, something healthy that you use your hands to eat with.

I have tried gum, but because I could control the nicotine intake by choosing to chew the gum, it was basically the same thing as smoking, just not as fun (albeit a lot less stinky).  That didn’t work for me mentally as I was determined not to depend on something to assist with my mood swings.

I HIGHLY suggest that you do not use e-cigs.  There isn’t enough research about how harmful it is.  I have two points on this:  1) just because it doesn’t have add’l chemicals does NOT mean that vaping straight nicotine is wise, 2) if I had the choice between an ecig and a cig for less damage, I would choose the regular cig.  It actually hurts to smoke those things and I found that it significantly decreased my lung capacity and it took about 4 days to return to normal, whereas if I smoked a real cig, I was fine the next day.  That, to me, means that it is not at all a decent replacement and could be more harmful. 

Remember – the first three days is the hardest.  After that, you’re actually only fighting your receptors that are used to having a quick coping mechanism.  As long as you have one (I once did 20 stomach crunches each time I got pissed about something – I looked GOOD that year!), you’re awesome.  Do you currently play any sports or work out/run?

Post # 27
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@ProfessorGirl:  Totally forgot about Wellbutrin!  I have heard this is a great method as well…..

Post # 28
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I had to quit numerous times, too.  (I promised to quit before our wedding!) It gets easier each time, don’t get frustrated with yourself.  It’s especially hard if you have friends/coworkers who smoke — I’ll still occasionally have one when I go out with certain people — that’s really hard to get up (and a really bad idea if you are susceptible to nicotine addiction).  I quit using Chantix, cold turkey, and Wellbutrin (twice).  I would go with Wellbutin, hands down.  There is no comparison.  Every other way I’ve turned into a raging b**ch (and then hate myself and want to smoke even more — ugh!).  Wellbutrin really helps with that, and it makes you not like smoking just like Chantix.  It’s a win win.  It also has lovely side effects, if you are at all susceptible to depression (and I always lose weight on it), or need to concentrate for long periods of time. 

The other helpful thing for me was to change your habits, slowly.  Sometimes I’ve had to give up other things I like that I associate with smoking (hanging out with certain people, having more than one drink) temporarily, and then slowly re-introduce them into my life. 

And, be sure to treat yourself to other things (I always thought of cigarettes as a reward, and had to find new rewards for myself) and be kind to yourself if you slip up.

Good luck! 

Post # 30
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Oh, I also started working out a lot when I quit.  It was a good outlet for stress (my number one reason for smoking) and it made the benefits of quitting a bit more tangible — I could run faster, longer, etc. 

Post # 31
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This may not be very helpful but I just woke up one day and decided I didn’t like smoking anymore and I haven’t smoked since… lol. But I know how hard it can be, my fiance has been smoking since he joined the Navy and that was 10 years ago! He tried cold turkey like me but it didnt work for him at all. I would just suggest the nicotine gum or patch.

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