(Closed) I need help….he won't propose until I quit smoking

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
1258 posts
Bumble bee

@bookworm88:  THANK YOU.

This drove me crazy while I was quitting. I’d break down and smoke one, and some jackass would walk by and say “You should quit that. Those are bad for you.” Well, duh. Like I would have lit up at all if I hadn’t felt like I’d explode into a million pieces of rage and grief if I didn’t have a cigarette right that second.

Hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Hang in there, Penelopeee. Every part of your body is going to reject the wonderful thing you’re doing for it, for a while. But you will turn it around. 

Post # 33
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

The patches don’t give you the same high as inhaled nicotine… it’s more of a gradual rise and fall of the nicotine in your body.  I would recommend the E-cigs or some other inhaled form so you still get the kick without the smoke and tar.  Nicotine itself really isn’t that bad, you just need to get it without the tobacco! I’ve never smoked, so I don’t have any personal advice… just what I learned in school!  Maybe talk to a doctor about an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety med to get you through the rough part of quitting?  That may work better than the Chantix. 

Post # 34
7960 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@moominmaiden:  i have heard that Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking book is supposed to be good. i have known a few people who have found success with it.

however, you must go and buy the book yourself.  not borrow it or receive it as a gift.  getting the book yourself is part of the steps.

good luck.


Post # 35
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I smoked for almost 10 years, and tried quitting only a couple hundred times. I had very good results with Welbutrin.

Between starting that + dating my now fiance (who hates when i smoke), I managed to go from smoking only when I drink to not smoking at all. I found that if I didn’t hang around people who smoked when I drank it was a lot easier to quit. Quite frankly, I quit smoking without even realizing it just by tweaking my environment. Good luck! It’s definitely not an easy thing to do, but it’s worth it once you get there!

Post # 36
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I quit about a year and a half ago. DH is still working on it. He has had a harder time with it then I have. I quit by e-cigs. The thing I like about it is that if I do get the urge to smoke I put some 0 nic liquid in and take a few hits. It satisfies the urge and I am not addicted. It took me a few months to work down to 0 nic and I have not gone back. We have gone through several mods and I used to carry a fladhlight turned PV in my purse. DH has gone through about a dozen different ones because he keeps breaking them. 

I would suggest this website to do your research. The people there are phenomenal!!! It is a learning proces for what works with each person and they are great with newbies!


If you are just starting out I would recommend this kit with some extra cartomizers and liquid. 


Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. I did tons of research on the different kinds and different ways to use it.

Post # 37
48 posts

You can do it! A friend of mine quit when she was extremely hungover (She said the taste/smell made her feel sick that day since she smoked way too much the night before, haha), joined a support group and didnt look back!!

Good luck!! It will be much easier with a proposal as motivation 🙂

Post # 38
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard

Good for you for wanting to quit! I second all the PP’s advice. You will be doing yourself a world of good by quitting, and how sweet that your SO cares about you in this way. Good luck, you can do it! 🙂

Post # 39
205 posts
Helper bee

I would suggest going and seeing your doctor and asking him/her about the different ways to quit. They will be able to guide you through the process and find the best way for you to quit.

Post # 40
2314 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh!  Also, if you are a creative googler, I think the american lung association sponsors free cessation kits…but I don’t know through which company (hence the googling).   You get about $100 worth of product and then mail it to your house within 2 weeks.  My neighbor did that. 

Post # 41
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My advice? Move to Chicago! Cigarettes are $10 a pack here and they just added another $1 in tax. My Fiance promised to quit the day they announced the new tax! In all seriousness though, now she has to figure out how to really quit. E-cigarette looks good for a fwe weeks to “cut the edge” and then we’re hoping new hobbies/habits will help a lot.

I also LOVED the advice about the wedding dress picture on the pack – that would help me I think!

EDIT – also, use us! Come here when you need to vent about how difficult quitting is.. we can all support you, too!

Post # 42
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Change your habits. If you normally wake up at 6AM and smoke with coffee, wake up at 7AM and have a cup of tea. If you normally smoke on breaks from work, go outside and walk around the building or stay inside and do some desk yoga. Etc. that REALLY made a big difference for me as well as several of my friends.

Post # 43
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think thats great!!!  and what great modivation 🙂

Good Luck you can do it!!!!

Post # 44
37 posts

If you are having difficulty, talk to your doctor (or a walkin clinic)!  Also depending on what city you are in, many have quit smoking programs, most of which are free!!! If that is all that is between you and the rest of your life, seek professional help!!! On weddingbee we are a good pep squad to keep you going, but we can’t replace sound medical advice! 

Post # 45
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I gave my Fiance the same ultimatum before he proposed.  He used Chantix for two weeks but he was nauceous all the time he stopped mid treatment and stopped ever since. It was hard for the first month, or two.  but it gets better.  He still go downstairs outside when others have smoke break but he walks around the block and go back up.  slowly he was even ok standing next to ppl who smoke and he doesn’t want it.  After a while his body doesn’t like the smell anymore, can’t tolerate it. 

I have seen people use meds to quit but they mostly go back on it shortly after. 

Most successful story is usually quit cold turkey because those people usually need to quit right away.  Some for medical reason, some because of kids. 

Keep telling yourself how badly you want to get married.  It’s not easy, but you can do it.  everytime you want to smoke, chew gum instead or eat some snacks.  Keep your mouth and hand busy.  Or go for a walk to clear your mind.


Good luck

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