(Closed) I need major advice

posted 6 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is there anyone above your supervisor to whom you could direct an appeal that you be allowed to use a vacation day?

Post # 4
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t really have any advice but i just wanted to say i’m really sorry to hear you’re in this situation.  Good vibes going you way. Whatever happens it sounds like youre a atrong person and the two of you will pull through

Post # 6
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d try what @julies1949:  said, but also see if you can list him as a domestic partner in case something like this comes up again between now and when you get married.

 

ETA- saw your response that you tried talking with your manager… I’d definitely try HR to see what they say.

Post # 7
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d ask someone in your human resources department.  Probably depends on the state you live in. 

However, when my husband and I were still dating/living together, his grandma passed away and it was an unpaid day for me. 

Post # 8
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Sorry you’re going through all this! Your poor man!

Id be LIVID if they considered that day off unpaid because you aren’t married. That is bullshit, what if you just never wanted to get married? That’s totally unfair. If you have an HR department I would talk to them about it. If you work in a smaller company and the supervisor is the person dealing with this sort of thing I’d schedule a meeting and have a very frank talk about how you are feeling. Aren’t you considered common law? 

Other than that I can’t offer much help but I did read it and wanted to give you some support! I’ll be thinking of you… You’ll get through this!

Post # 9
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@DaneLady:  I tried that when my husband’s grandma passed away (we were living together, not engaged, at the time).  I was told by my HR department that “domestic partnership” applied to homosexual couples only.  So, had he been a woman, I’d have gotten paid.

Post # 10
Member
4950 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear your fiance is having a flare up. I hope he feels better soon. 

Talk to your union if you have one about family sick time and such. 

Also, I would reccomend speaking to a credit counsellor. A not for profit one. You’re living too close to the line. It may be that you have to cut down on things like to motorcycle… just for peace of mind and a bit of a financial buffer. I wrecked my back at work a year ago moving a 600lb patient, and I had to cut down on a lot. The toys aren’t worth the money stress. 

 

Post # 11
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

That is so inconsiderate of your boss. He is your Fiance, he is family, he is your future husband. I would try to contact HR yourself if I were you. I am upset just listening reading this. I am sorry you are going through this and I hope your Fiance feels better soon. He is very luck to have you. 

Post # 15
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If your Supervisor is indeed telling you correct info, then I would say that the company policy is a tad skewed!  The norm, although there are always exceptions, is that most companies would want their ee’s – regardless of the reason ‘why’ to use any, and all paid time (sick, vacation, etc) before giving them unpaid days!  It eliminates the abuse of taking a ton of time, or picking and choosing what you want paid vs. not. 

Hypothetically, you could be dealing with after care of your Fiance IF he needs surgery, plus sitting thru appt’s/surgery, etc.  If they just went ahead and paid you for your missed time, chances are you would hurry and get back to work ASAP! 

Long story short, DEFINITELY get your answer from HR 🙂 Maybe he is right, even if it does not make sense to me!

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