(Closed) I need major advice

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 34
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@hiroshymatetrastar:  Good!  I mean, if this were some incredibly stupid thing, like he rammed his head through a sliding glass door cause he was drunk kinda thing…I wouldn’t be so gung ho about it…and legality aside, he’s sick and he needs you…where the hell is common decency anymore?

Post # 35
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mixtapehearts:  +1

Sorry… I agree with this poster. And in California, the domestic partnership isn’t as straight forward as it seems. Same they’re required to go through and file with the government. It’s not as easily as stating “hey we’re domestic partners!”

Emotionally it sucks; but legally and from a business perspective he isn’t family; companies put these checks and balances in place so that it prevents anyone from randomly stating “so and so is my Fiance and now i need to take time off for her/him.”

I read through the original post and you said that you have emergency money… wouldn’t this constitute as emergency money?

I hope your Fiance feels better soon; is there a sibling/parent of his that can help him out? Ironically they would be covered under the Family Leave Act….

Post # 36
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@hiroshymatetrastar:  Yeah, I get it, but you are not family until you are married.  I lived with my ex-boyfriend for 8 years, we had a dog together, he had a stroke at age 42 and I took unpaid leave…. It is what it is, you won’t have a legal leg to stand on in this case.

Post # 39
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i didnt read all the replies because i want to get out of here but i just wanted to say i am so sorry that you are being put through this additional stress when you have such a major thing to deal with already. it makes me so angry that they expect you to choose between your Fiance and your livelihood… i am disgusted.

the common workplace description of what constitutes “family” sickens me…. my uncle who i was extremely close with died when i was at my old job. i told my boss i was going to be out the 2 days of his funeral and wake and he said fine. he then called me in to his office a day later and was like “actually uncle isnt an approved family member for bereavement” and told me i could not have the 2 days off. it was so disgusting that i had to worry about losing my job for grieving a family member. corporate policies can be absurd!

as far as the wedding deposits, you are pretty far out still, do you think you could try to push the wedding back and use the same vendors? they may be willing to let you use your deposits on another date since that have time to fill yours potentially?


Post # 41
6240 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@hiroshymatetrastar:  It’s so terrible that they’re doing that to you on top of everything else. I would understand if you had already taken all your time off, but you haven’t! I guess I’m spoiled, because when I had my gallbladder out a few months ago, my Fiance took the next day off to be with me when I got home from the hospital. His boss didn’t record the day off, and they sent me an edible arrangement.

Post # 43
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Definitely talk to HR and read your Employee Handbook. We have PTO (Paid Time Off) and we can apply it to any day we’re not in the office.

Post # 45
4323 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Can you ask to come in early or stay an hour late each day until you make up the time?

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