Post # 1
Everything has been going fine until I went to rent the tent for our reception. This pushed us WAY over budget. The price they told me the first time didn’t include liners, draping and such.
I am not giving coworkers a plus 1 unless they are married or in a relationship and technically it’s not a plus 1 but rather I’m inviting their spouse or Boyfriend or Best Friend. Well, I overheard a coworker asking someone else if they wanted to attend my wedding with them because her husband didn’t want to attend.
To broach the subject, I ask her if her Darling Husband was practicing his dance moves for the wedding just to hear what she would say. She said that he didn’t want to come and that she asked one of her Sorority sisters if she wanted to come. I told her that I am sorry but the invitations was for him only and that I only extended the invitation because they are a unit. She said that the seat is already accounted for so she doesn’t understand the big deal. Told her I’m sorry but I couldn’t accommodate her friend. She was giving me the evil eye after that so I hope that means that she isn’t coming.
I asked another coworker her husband’s name because I was addressing envelopes and forgot it. She said that he wouldn’t come and said she’ll see if her sister wants to attend with her instead. I told her the same thing and she was understanding about the situation.
I’m doing RSVP by website so I would like to add something on there about the names listed on there are the only ones that are invited. How can I word this without sound like a B. If it brought to my attention, I have no problem letting them know that they can’t bring someone. My mom is paying for my wedding and with this additional cost I can’t afford people just showing up with people I don’t know to my wedding.
Please help. I am finally under the stress that I’ve been reading about.
Post # 3
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
The etiquette is that the invitation is addressed to the person named on the envelope, so as long as you’re putting specific people (it sounds like you are) you are correct and they are wrong. Of course, that doesn’t help you at all. Can you set up your e-RSVP so they have to put in the names of everyone attending, and then address problems individually?
I also feel, and I will get some flack for this, that you’re not necessarily obligated to give coworkers plus-ones. They are going to know so many people there that as long as you sit them all together they should be ok day-of. I know the etiquette about couples being units, but when you’re inviting the whole office it seems more like a work event than a social one, at least from their perspective. IE you would not be inviting them if you did not work together, and they will be seated with all work people. My Boo doesn’t come out to work happy hours and such. (and I am very close friends with a bunch of people I work with; the girl who is marrying us is someone I met at work) If you promised them plus-1s or have already talked to them about bringing dates it might be too late, but I wouldn’t feel bad inviting just coworkers.
Post # 4
Our wedding website lists the names of the people who are invited. We’ve only had one person ask if she could bring someone besides her husband (her MIL! How funny/cute is that!). We told her she can because the Mother-In-Law has known my Fiance most of his life and our numbers are coming out low anyway.
Post # 5
@soontobeMrsBoo: I made sure to address the envelopes correctly. I guess their thinking is because their husband can’t make it, they can bring someone else. I’m using wedding wire so they are not able to list the names. I went back and forth about inviting their husbands because in the 5 years I’ve worked with 1 of them, I’ve only seen her husband once.
I want to nicely state in or RSVP section that basically the invitation goes by names not spaces. This isn’t tickets to a free show!
Post # 6
The only polite way to address this is to speak privately with those that do mess it up.
It is not polite to assume that guests will be impolite.