- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Here’s the shortest of my long story:
My husband’s & my names both start with “B” and I blog about us refering to myself as B and him as the Big Bee. This is not related to the WeddingBee site, but is part of the reason why I picked this site out of the many wedding blogs out there.
Here it goes:
The Big Bee & I are very much in love, happy, like our rural living & low impact life style. The Big Bee was married before for less than 2 years and was divorced for several years before we met. We got engaged and the Big Bee wanted me to have the wedding I wanted. We started planning. I got very sick and had to have surgery. I was on short term insurance that ended shortly after my surgery and I was denied coverage when I applied for a continuation of my insurance plan because of my illness. Because we were already planning on getting married, we decided to go ahead and get married earlier than our wedding date (refered to from here on as “the big wedding”) so that I could be on the Big Bee’s insurance.
So we had a small courthouse wedding that my parents & sister couldn’t make it to and continued with our big wedding planning. A few months later we realized our venue was not at all what we actually wanted and looked into switching. THEN we realized that we weren’t going to be able to make this wedding happen for less than 15 grand because of the area we live in and because we wanted to be able to feed our guests. We really wanted to spend 5 grand but had already realized we would be more in the 10 grand realm. 15 grand is way above our comfort level.
We had a massive argument that concluded with this: we couldn’t call off the big wedding because a lot of my family (extended included) would be very angry and would not ever understand, we had missed our opportunity to make the court house wedding our “big wedding” and schedule it so my parents could attend, and that we were going to have to surrender to the fact that even though it wasn’t our style & we hated it- we were speding 15 grand on a party that lasted a few hours. My parents are paying for nearly all of the wedding expenses but that doesn’t change that this is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a party.
I get that “it’s my wedding” and that a lot of other couples spend a lot more money on their wedding, but we are just not happy with this.
We found a new venue (refered to from now on as MCL). Included in the expensive wedding package is the sole use of the grounds & buildings for the entire weekend. We booked it. That was in March. It is now June. Our wedding is in July. The MCL manager just emailed me saying we had to have the main area cleaned up and ready for the public by 930 am on the Sunday of our rented weekend because that’s when they start serving brunch. We’re supposed to have the MCL for the entire weekend. To me this means from the time we check in on Friday until the noon checkout time on Sunday.
Added to the already overwhelming anxiety over the amount of money spent, and the stress of knowing that this big wedding is not what WE really wanted but that we didn’t know we reallly didn’t want it until we were in too deep to change it without angery family who we care about, is that the MCL is cuting into the time we’re paying all this money to have sole use of the MCL for.
I emailed MCL about this discrepency saying that we were very surprised and dissapointed and that we understood it to be completely different.
Do you have any suggestions? I can’t even talk to the Big Bee about wedding drama any more without him getting very upset because #1 we have realized this isn’t what we wanted but feel trapped and #2 for all this money we should be getting what we were promised.
Discouraged. Upset. Overwhelmed by the commercialization of the act of getting married and the “oh but it’s for the wedding, so it’s ok” that so many other people seem to have. Shouldn’t couples start their married life not in debt for a massive party they didn’t need?