- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
Let me start with my backstory…
My sister L and I have had a back and forth relationship. When we were in High School, we weren’t SUPER close, and she clung to her boyfriends while I clung to my friends. I had a close group of friends who did everything together and kept in touch with my best friend M after we graduated. We ended up roommates for a couple years and got really close.
Well, my sister ended up marrying her High School sweet heart, and I was her maid of honor. We got really close after that and I soon after her wedding, got engaged.
To make a long story short(er) after I got engaged, I called my sister to be my Matron of Honor, of course she said yes, but I also asked her if she would have any problem with best friend M being my maid of honor. She was really excited and said of course she’d be glad to.
Fast forward 8 months… they split the duties so sister L was in charge of the bridal shower and best friend M would do the bachelorette. Well, my shower was this Saturday and it was a surprise, I was overwhelmed at how many people came and how much work my sister put into it. She did a great job and I was floored.
Well, My sister came to me last night and said she felt like me and best friend M do things without her and she feels left out. She also said she was my only sister and didn’t want to be selfish but “why should I have to share the honor?” — she was sincere about it and I could tell it was hard for her to come to me about how she was feeling. I was very surprised because in fact, I have done so much MORE with my sister than anyone. She’s never more than a phone call away and always is there for me. Best friend M lives 4 hours away and isn’t always just a phone call away…My sister also told me she felt that my best friend commands attention and acts like #1 whenever their together, making my sister seem overshadowed….
I tried to explain to her that it’s just the way she is. Best friend M has always had a dominant attitude and anyone who knows her ignores her… you just have to be stern with her or just ignore the ‘tude. I’ve known her for so long, I don’t notice it and never thought anything of it. I guess my sister didn’t know best friend M as well as I thought and it’s turned into somewhat of a power struggle.
We both got to crying and hugging and I had to reassure her that yes, she is my only sister and at the end of the day, SHE is the one standing next to me, not best friend M…. that they have both known different sides of me and were there for me in different ways throughout my life. I felt like I was defending my choice to have two “honor-ees” and I hate it. I feel horrible that my sister feels this way but on the other hand, I don’t regret my decision.
After I left my sister, I called Fi and broke down. He got upset seeing me upset and told me they were acting like children and should suck it up and shutup… (Oh Fi, how he puts things so gently…ahhaha) I can’t say that to them and I don’t want to…. I just want everyone to GET ALONG!
How do I tell best friend M to stop acting like the queen BEE and tell my sister that she should trudge it out for me? I don’t understand what the deal is… I’m not asking THEM to be best friends… they are MY best friends and are there for ME.
HELP ME BEES!! Sorry that was so long… :o(