(Closed) I need opinions about having a girl being a ring bearer

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would check with the girl you want to be a ring bearer? Ask her if she wants the same dress or a different dress.


The last thing you want to do is make her feel uncomfortable- right?

Post # 5
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@amrandaz:  So mom wants her in the same dress as the flower girl? What are her reasons? 

I think it is fine to have them in different dresses. Either way I’m sure the little girl will look adorable!

Post # 8
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@amrandaz:  Pick another child. That mother is ridiculous. Someone not the bride or groom shouldn’t have a say and she doesn’t realize that.


Post # 9
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@amrandaz:  Oh Mom is just being silly. I would stick to my guns but maybe buy the dress myself so the mom can’t say anything. But before buying the dress, make sure that the mom will actually allow the little girl to be in it if it’s not the dress she wants.

She probably doesn’t want to spend the $ so I’d just remove that part of the equation.

Post # 10
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center

Why can’t the flower girl wear the blue dress, then? Is it really that big of a deal that you can’t compromise? I mean, yea the mother should just get the dress for the little one that you want but since she’s putting up a fight wouldn’t it just be better to switch their colors? People will barely notice the flower girl/ring princess anyway.

Post # 12
4693 posts
Honey bee

I don’t understand why you couldn’t put them in the same dress to begin with (or at least the same style or same color), but it seems you’ve already made up your mind.

Post # 15
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

How much does this really matter? Only it seems a hell of a lot of grief over something as trivial as a ring bearer’s dress. If you are expecting the child’s mother to pay for the dress it doesn’t seem entirely unreasonable for her to get two weddings out of it. If, on the other hand (as would be customary in the UK) you are paying for the dress then you get to make the final decision. But two wrongs don’t make a right so don’t base your decision on what happened at an earlier wedding. Sure, nobody had a say. This doesn’t mean you have to copy this behaviour.

Post # 16
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Well if the FG dress is discontinued, can’t you tell the mother that you can’t find it anywhere?

Who is the RB and who is the mother, in relation to you?

My FGs are my nieces and their mother is my sister, one of my maids of honor. Having them in the wedding means more to me than any colors they wear or what their tasks are. 

If the mom is paying, I really think you should be flexible. I would be flexible either way since I don’t like to dictate what other people’s children should wear, but obviously it’s your vision.  

My FI would hate me for this, because he’s afraid I won’t treat my own children as well as I treat my niece, but my sister said today that my niece keeps saying she wants a gold dress. My sister hates the idea so she’s obviously trying to talk her out of it. I can’t help but envision colors that would go with it. I’m bad lol. 

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