Post # 1
I’ve spent the last hour crying. I am having a wedding at a venue that does not allow DJs.
I didn’t really realize how big a deal this would be since there is someone that my wedding coordinator works with that the venue allows… so I thought it was more like “We don’t like noisy, barbaric, drunk 80s DJs” not straight up NO DJs. Like an idiot, I signed a contract yesterday afternoon after meeting a dj my fiancee and I liked very much. Honestly, this is the first thing my fiancee has made real input into as far as deciding wedding related things goes. We were really excited.
And then I read my contracts over today and saw the great big “No DJ’s” on the very last page. The first thing I did was call my wedding planner, because she works closely with the family that owns the venue, and she sounded really angry with me. I apologized for making things difficult, because she is now going to try and talk to the owner of the Venue and convince him to allow this new “unknown” dj, and I feel she’s also upset with me because we won’t be going with this other guy that she normally refers (that we haven’t met, and I did try to research but couldn’t get any info on him since he’s basically unknown). I don’t know what she’s more mad about– that I booked a dj and she has to explain it and try to have an exception made, or that she has to tell this other guy that we don’t need him for our wedding.
I feel like since I started planning this wedding, everything I can and can’t do has been dictated to me, and I haven’t really had much say in what was going to happen. I can’t have over a certain amount of people, I can’t have hard liquor, now I find out I can’t have a DJ. Is there something wrong with the venue, or is it something wrong with me? I think I made a mistake by choosing this place, and now with 7 months to go, I doubt I could find a new venue even if I wanted to. Is it unreasonable to ask that they allow the dj I chose? I thought weddings were supposed to be about what the couple wanted.
Post # 3
Ummm yeah that sucks! It is not you – I’ve never heard of a venue only allowing certain DJs to play. Did you have to put a nonrefundable deposit down on the place? It couldn’t hurt to ask around quickly for another venue that will cater more to your wants and needs. As for your wedding planner, she needs to suck it up and not be mean to you about it – you’re paying her for this very reason… to keep things organized and deal with any issues that arise!
Post # 4
It sounds like you picked a location that has a lot of restrictions in place. When I was looking at venues, I found this really nice old mansion with fabulous gardens, etc., but they the list of “can’t do that” items was really long – no alcohol at all, no fruit punch, specific caterer etc.
If you signed a contract with the venue that has specific policies in place, I believe you are obligated to abide by those policies (unless they decide to be really nice and work with you on it). Before you sign any further contracts for any services, I would read both your venue contract in detail as well as the potential contract you are signing (cake, flowers, etc). Keep in mind that although weddings are all about the bride and groom to you, family, and friends, to professional companies, everything is ultimately a business transaction.
Hopefully they will decide to work with you on this.
Post # 5
Wow I’ve never heard of a venue not alowing DJs. That’s crazy. And don’t allow your weddingplanner to get angry at you, she’s there to work for you and help make situations better. If it cannot be done than that’s fine but her job is to at least try.
Post # 6
I’m sorry you’re having this problem. It should be a lesson to all of us to READ THE CONTRACTS BEFORE YOU SIGN THEM. Regardless that doesn’t help you now and it sucks that you’re stuck with a venue that is so inflexible. Is it that they have a deal with the other DJ and he is the only one allowed to play there? Some places do deals like that so family can get a piece of the action. I looked at a venue that had a specific DJ and caterer you had to use and upon further investigation it turned out that the DJ was the owner’s husband and the caterer was her brother!
Post # 7
It sounds like there is some role-conflict going on as well. Part of the job of a typical wedding planner is to
“A wedding planner consults with the to-be bride and groom and according to the feedback that he receives from them, takes care of: Ordering the flowers, hiring a photographer, musician and other service providers for the wedding. It is the job of the wedding planner to deal with the various vendors and see that he can get the best possible rates from different vendors for his clients.”
Obviously I have no idea what is in your contract with her regarding her roles/ responsibilities. She may be frustrated that she provided contact information for a DJ she believes does a good job and and you and your Fiance decided to look elsewhere without contacting the person that she recommended.
I am NOT saying that she is correct in how she is handling the situation. You are a client of hers – she should NOT get upset with you. I am just trying to provide another perspective.
Post # 8
Well, technically you’re at fault b/c you signed two conflicting contracts. BUT, your planner needs to suck it up, and DO HER JOB. In my opinion, at this point in the planning, a huge chunk of her job is to be your advocate to your vendors. Getting upset with YOU is unprofessional and uncalled for.
Now, your venue may very well not let you have the DJ that you want, since it was in the contract ahead of time, but you’re absolutely not being unreasonable by requesting it. The hard part is that you guys already signed with the DJ, without getting the approval first (since it was in the contract…).
Sorry you’re dealing with this, but the wedding gods really aren’t out to get you, I promise!
Post # 9
I would say about 1/3 of venues we looked at had restrictions of this sort – no alcohol, exclusive vendors, music restrictions. We said no to all of those. Some of them were gorgeous and unique and even reasonably priced. But the restrictions were too much for us. The venue we chose does not allow tastings or having a rehearsal on site. It sucks, but it’s not the end of the world.
Regarding the wedding planner, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard of planners pushing their preferred vendors on you. It’s not right, but it does happen, which is why I’ve always been very anti-wedding planner.
I hope you can work out your DJ situation, and I’m sure from now on you’ll read all contracts very carefully. I also hope you’ll remember that despite what their marketing materials may say, all your vendors are in the business to make money, not to make your day perfect. Some will be nicer than others, but you have to be careful and expect them to think of their interests over yours.
Finally and most importantly, remember that all of this is just a big party and not worth crying over. It’s really really not.
Post # 10
I just wanted to add that I didn’t read my venue’s contract before we signed either. I *thought* my parents did, but I wasn’t too worried, since they’re friends of my parents. When I finally got around to reading it (months later), one of the clauses says that “All people 16 years old and younger must be kept on leashes for the duration of the event.”
Hee hee. Luckily, I found this pretty darn funny, and the subsequent email exchange with the venue coordinator was pretty funny too (she said that the girls could be let off the leashes, but not the boys. Too dirty.), but if there was anything seriously wrong with the contract, I would have been S.O.L.
Post # 11
Weird. I know that the venue we were planning on going with had strict rules too. No outside catering, you have to buy this much food, etc etc. We finally decided to go somewhere else and we couldn’t be happier. We get to pick everything for ourselves and it opened up a whole lot of options for me to look at without financial pressure. Because seriously $5/piece cake cutting fees are rediculous!