- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
Fiance and I wrote our own ceremony. We worked on it for quite awhile, and we were very happy with it. My BIL is our officiant, and he lives in another state, so all we’ve been able to do is e-mail it to him, to see what he thinks, we can’t meet with him.
So, first, I e-mail it to my Mom. She says she loves it, but has a few revisions. I incorporate the ones that make sense to Fiance and myself, an we send it onto BIL.
This was a week ago.
So today, I text him, asking if he’s had a chance to go over it, and to see what he thinks? I get no response, but I wasn’t even going to follow up on it again today, I was going to wait for tomorrow.
Later, I’m on the phone with my mother talking about something else, and she goes “Oh, By The Way, BIL hates your ceremony. He’s not going to do it.” I ask her when she heard this, and she said “About a week ago.”
Really, this makes me very angry. NOT that he doesn’t like it (I mean, that stings, but people are all different.) It makes me very angry that he’s badmouthing it to other people and has not said one single word to me about it. Shouldn’t we be able to go over it? What about my opportunity to make any changes? We’re leaving for there in just a couple of weeks, ceremonies don’t write themselves overnight.
So I try to tell my Mom how I feel, and she says “Don’t put me in the middle of it, you talk to him. But, I just want you to know, I never liked it to begin with.” But, the way I see it, if she’s talking about it with BIL and my sister, she already put herself in the middle of it, and apparently didn’t have a problem with it, until I’m the one with a complaint. Never mind that one week ago, she was all about how much she LOVED it.
Am I overreacting here? Would you be upset in this situation? And what should I do, approach him and say a civil version “I heard you hate it, thanks for telling me so I can do something about it?”