(Closed) I need quick help- how to respond to this Facebook message!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The message she sent you sounds pretty casual to me.  I don’t think you have to invite her.  Sometimes people just feel like catching up, or sending the occasional message to see how you’re doing.  You can reply with something equally non-commital.  Just say, “Hey!  Great to hear from you!”  Give her a random detail or two about your life and/or engagement and then ask her how she’s doing.

Post # 5
4685 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I don’t thimk she is expecting an invite. She’s not being presumptuous.

Post # 6
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

Honestly, not everyone is going to show.  I’d let her know that you’re waiting to find out how many relatives are actually going to come and are hoping that you can invite her but need to hear from family as there are some restrictions on the # of people.  Some people aren’t going to come, and if they aren’t and you know that she will…why not?  It sounds like she knows there might not be “room” so I’d keep along those lines.


Post # 7
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t even address the invites part. I’d just say ” hey! It has been a while! Lets catch up sometime soon!”

Honestly, nothing may come from it. I cannot tell you how often I’ve had people do that since I’ve been engaged. I respond similarly and usually never hear bac k from them again. 

Post # 9
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@FutureMrsT1221:  She’s leaving you a clear opening to say. “Lovely to hear from you. Life is great, so excited for the wedding. I truly wish I could include you, but we’re having an intimate wedding with a small guest list. What’s new with you? I love the pics of your baby!” The idea of “intimate” or “small” is totally subjective. Nothing rude about saying this.

Post # 10
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@FutureMrsT1221:   I would just say something along the lines of “Hey, its great to hear from you, (insert details of engagement/life here) and just say that your guest number is limited due to space/location of ceremony/reception and that you need to make sure that family on both sides make it to the list before you start inviting friends.


Just be honest say that after family and closest friends were invited, you have reached your capacity of your venue and that you are unable to invite anyone else. Its sometimes hard to hear that friends have moved on with their lives but hopefully she will understand due to the time lapse. 

Post # 11
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@FutureMrsT1221:  No, I don’t think she really is.  If I’m wrong, and you just don’t address the invite part, I guess you’ll know if/when she prompts you again!  Just play it cool for now.

Post # 12
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Maybe you could say you already sent out the invites and have the max number of people accounted for. You can also make up some kind of sob story that your parents insisted you invite lots of family and their friends so there isn’t room for all the people you would like to be there…..such as her, for instance…..hehe.

Post # 14
2330 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I dunno, I think it was kind of a sweet message, actually. It sounds like she’s genuinely happy for you.

I don’t feel like she was being pushy. It sounds like she just wants to catch up and isn’t necessarily demanding an invitation. She probably wouldn’t be upset at all if you just explained to her that you’d love to have her there, but unfortunately just don’t have the space.

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