Post # 1
I need some reassurance. I am unable to sleep at night because I keep thinking about what if I don’t get into med school. Stupid, I know. I have a back-up plan – I feel I’ve done enough ‘sciency’ stuff for a cognitive neuroscience Masters in London, which is my second option. But I really don’t want to go down that path. I have been working and working and working and I keep thinking about what more I can do. I don’t sleep, I keep forgetting to eat. In the summer I will be holding the equivalent of two jobs as well as doing a course in London for the GAMSAT exam in September. I’ve been writing papers and hopefully might get some published, depending on my supervisor, and planning on writing some with my mother too. I’ve got conferences going on, and hopefully enough extra curriculars to keep them ‘interested’ in me.
My mother tells me to take it one day at a time – focus on uni exams, then focus on the GAMSAT and work experience and volunteering, then focus on the personal statement, etc. But I feel I have to be two steps ahead of the science graduates in order to stand out. I don’t know whether I don’t have ‘faith’/belief in my abilities, or what it is, but the concept of not getting in is honestly a scary one. I don’t think I can properly relax until I get in. I tell myself if I can’t handle the pressure now, I can’t handle med school but honestly? Talking to people in grad med school, they’ve told me getting in is the hardest part. And I totally understand why.
I am sitting here, right now, at 2.19am, reading the GMC guidelines on good doctoring because I cannot bring myself to fall asleep. It’s getting ridiculous now.
Post # 3
Go to bed. Everything will work out I’m sure. Being this dedicated and involved as you are will show through to the admissions. One of the biggest things they look for is a drive and dedication which you clearly have. Right now, if you really want to be on top of your game, you need rest. Go to bed.
Post # 4
First of all, it is out of your hands. Nothing you can do. You’ll deal with whatever the reality is when it comes. But worrying about it will do nothing.
Second, I know two people who did not get into medical school the first time they applied. So they took a year off and applied again and got in. There’s no failure, just setbacks. Even if it were to happen, life will go on and you’ll be okay.
Post # 5
I guess I’ll try sleep. Even sleeping pills are not working anymore. I know some people will call me stupid for saying the thought of not getting in is a nightmare, but it is for me in many ways. Lol, I’ll be back if I can’t sleep…
Post # 6
@OrchidsandCandles: If you really cannot get yourself to calm down thinking about it, start planning your second option. That’s how I calm myself down when something is out of my hands but I can’t stop thinking about it. When I applied to graduate school, I was soooo nervous — I banked all my plans on one Ivy League school!!! (who does that with no back up??). So, I started planning how I would continue on if I didn’t get in. It calmed me down.
Good luck, too. I’m sure everything will be fine!! When do you find out?
Post # 7
Things are going to be fine. You’re obviously working really hard to make this happen. Worrying doesn’t help anything and it probably actually hurts things since it’s probably stressing you out. So take a deep breath. Maybe a bath and a glass of wine? A hike? Whatever quites your mind. It’ll be fine. Just try not to stress.
Post # 8
I agree – even though my grad school choice has over 80% acceptance rate, I was still freaking out about getting in. I’m actually taking a year off so I can do what was originally my backup plan, because a break between undergrad and grad school sounded so nice.
I hate to put it this way too, but even if you don’t get in, it opens a new door for resume building, and the holy grail – “real world experience” while giving you time to focus more on testing and applying again next year.
Post # 9
Go to bed.
Take long breaths. Try to sleep. And remember that, even if you don’t sleep, being horizontal with your eyes closed can’t help but be more restorative than reading or being on WB at …wait, WHAT time is it there???
Go to bed. You’ve already done plenty to get ahead on this.
And good luck with everything. But go easy on yourself, okay? You should trust yourself more.
Post # 10
@OrchidsandCandles: I’m not sure what applying to med school in the UK is like but if it is anything like in the States…you’re way ahead of me (writing papers, presenting at conferences, etc etc) when I applied to med school! It all worked out and I get to do what I love to do!
Worrying only makes you feel negative about yourself – at the end of medical school, I realized that the only thing that stopped me from being a better doctor than the one I already was, was fear – not trusting in myself because I was scared. Letting that go was one of the most transformative lessons in becoming a physician.
Honestly, just love yourself, love what you do/do what you love and be real. They will see through it if you are just doing stuff just to get in. SERIOUSLY, do NOT do anything you don’t want to do.
If you don’t get in, what will you do? Take a step back, take the opportunity to explore yourself and grow. Apply again. Don’t give up – there are many amazing doctors I who didn’t get in on the first try. That didn’t stop them and if you really want this, keep at it! It will pay off!
Hugs! From what I’ve read in your posts, I think you will do great! Best wishes!
Post # 11
Well, I’ve not presented at conferences but I’ve helped doctors with their research behind their talks at conferences (namely at OBGYN ones), which was seriously super fun! And I’m going to start a metanalysis of post-partum depression in various age groups, see if it’s more prevalent in one group than another and if so, why. Will be doing that with mum (OBGYN surgeon). I plan on doing my undergraduate dissertation on diagnostic biases – common mistakes doctors make when diagnosing a patient, and I’ve also been doing extra modules at uni (I think you guys call it credit there), recently did health psychology, and will be undertaking bioethics next year, as well as doing an extra module at another university into biochemistry and drugs, etc. Next will be doing one on genetics at the same university. Also done a metanalysis on stroke rehabilitation techniques, which I’ve submitted into a well-known student journal (peer review is taking FOREVER though!)Everything I do, I do it because I want to. I honestly enjoy everything I do, I genuinely do. I don’t know why, I feel this feeling of panic and worry when I think ‘what if I don’t get in?’ (don’t worry, I’ve been doing much more than just those things lol)
I’ll be sitting that glorious 6 hours+ exam this September. Then once the universities I want to apply to receive my results, if I get a good enough mark, I will be called for an interview. After the interview, they’ll see if they want me or not. I’m hoping they will, once I know I have an interview somewhere, I can relax, because THAT is the real opportunity for me to showcase my passion.
I still cannot sleep. However, today has been a good day. I revised in the morning, then met up with a friend in the afternoon, where we sat in the sun and relaxed for a few hours and caught up on stuff, and then went shopping for a bit. And tomorrow (well, today for me technically) I have a cinema date 🙂 So will be chilling out (kind of) these next few days. I’ve gotten a revision schedule, and I know what needs to be done. My coursework marks are very good, so even if I mess up in the exam (which I don’t plan on doing so lol), I’ll still get the marks they want for me to apply to med school with.
So feeling somewhat more relaxed, but still not as relaxed as I want to be. But I think tomorrow will be definitely fun 🙂 I wish I could sleep, it is getting increasingly frustrating. I’m getting on average 3 hours a night (if even that). And I don’t want to take any more sedatives because they make my mouth dry (it sounds silly but it is realy uncomfortable). I don’t know what to do.
Post # 12
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is really really good for these kind of repetitive anxiety thoughts. It usually only takes a few sessions – I highly recommend finding someone who does this style of therapy. It can make such a big difference in your life!
Post # 13
For some reason or another, I slept very well last night… I’m hoping it continues haha!
Post # 14
@OrchidsandCandles: You need to learn how to let go a little–you cannot plan your life in advance—you will probably get in, but even if you don’t you will probably still be ok
You should make some time in your life to destress–yoga, meditation, etc.
Read up on REBT–usually when we are experiencing copious amounts of stress it can be traced back to irrational beliefs about ourselves and others
It’s normal to stress out about these things, but this far in advance you’re going to burn yourself out before you get down to the wire–this is a marathon not a sprint!
Post # 15
Try to take up running or exercising. I went through all of this when I was waiting for PhD acceptance letters and some days I just needed to run myself until I was exhausted to get my mind off of all of the “what-ifs”!
Post # 16
nothing i have to say will sound as smart as you, lol… but i wish you well and i know everyone on wb will be here to listen and cheer you on! good luck!