Post # 1
My fiance’ and I decided to go to Vegas to get married. We did not want a big wedding because of too much money and stress. Invitations are not being sent out because it is supposed to be a private ceremony with us and our parents. Family members and friends have literally invited themselves to our wedding by booking airfare and hotel rooms. My parents think that we have to have a dinner reception for everyone now after wedding because they are making the trip out. Do we really have to take all these people out? We did not invite anyone! Now more and more family members on my fiance’s side are saying they are coming and my parents are complaining because the cost of a dinner will now cost a small fortune. They think we should tell them that this is a private ceremony. How can I tell his family that when they didn’t tell our side of the family the same thing? They also think that his family should plan a dinner for friday night even though there will be no rehearsal. They can’t afford it plus we don’t want a dinner on Friday.I am getting so stressed about it. Am I wrong to be upset that my wedding has gone from a ceremony to some big wedding weekend?
Post # 3
I think you need to sit down with your mother and let her know that while you are thankful that she thinks this is something you should have, you don’t really want to have the expense.
Maybe you could send something out to the people you know are coming and let them know you would love to spend some time with them, and if they would like to join to for dinner, you would like that, and then include the place you plan on going and the average price of a meal.
If they are close family and friends and you never said anything to them about coming and they are doing this on their own, I don’t see anything wrong with this.
I think you could get some nice premaid invites and just print them out on your home computer and then be done with it.
Then when you hear back from people, let them know that they will need to make reservations, or call the place before hand and let them know how many people will be coming and see how hard it will be to take care of the whole party.
Post # 4
Wow, how did this get so out of hand? I think you obviously talked too much about it with people outside of the invite list (or your family members did). I think you need to politely let them know that you are having a small private ceremony in Vegas to include immediate family only. Then, after the ceremony you mail out a "We got married" announcement. I have had several friends and a few family members who did this. If they don’t want to change their travel plans, then that is on them. You are under NO OBLIGATION to pay for anything for these people if you never mailed them an invitation. It is very presumptuous of them. Are they expecting an invitation in the mail? IF so, maybe they will figure it out when they don’t get one!