(Closed) I need some advice

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
13248 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well, I guess it comes down to, are you willing to wait indefinitely for him?  Are you sure he’s The One for you?  If you want to wait and you know he’s the one, well, there’s your answer.  Otherwise, I’d be honest with him, and tell him what you want.  Give him a timeline of sorts (not an ultimatum, hopefully..) and see if he can work with that.

On another note, I hope you’re transferring med schools for the academic opportunity, and not to be closer to him.  I know distance is really hard, but your education is also incredibly important, and, especially with med school, you should be in the best academic situation for yourself.  He’s considering going abroad for school, and that may be in his best interest…don’t sell your career short for something you don’t even seem positive that you want!

I hope this all gets figured out soon!

Post # 5
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

I feel like after this amout of time and at your age, he should know if you are it for him. 

And moving away from you doesnt seem like something he would do if he was thinking of settling down any time soon. 

All you can do is express your desire to marry, and if he says hes not sure if your the one aftER 9 YEARS, you might have to reevaluate things. 

Post # 6
Member
4351 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@abbie017: – I agree, you shouldn’t move to be closer to him, especially as he hasn’t said there’s a future.

My SO is moving a 14 hour flight away too, but I can do that in the short term.  AND we know we want to be together, marriage is on the cards.  If you’re not strong enough to do long distance across the world, tell him.  If you’re ready and he’s not, tell him.  It takes two, and it’s give and take; it sounds like he wont compromise, why should you always be the one doing the compromising?

Post # 7
Member
4477 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It sounds like your reasons for moving are bigger than him, mostly because of your family.  Don’t move just for him.   If he’s moving a year for school, that amount of time is tough, but doable for a LDR (I know because I’ve done it). 

 

I just read the part where you said you guys haven’t talked about a future together and he doesn’t know what he wants yet.  I’m sorry, but he’s old enough and you guys have been together long enough that he should know that stuff by now. 

 

I’d say for now just think about what’s best for YOU.  You’re going to med school, that’s really stressful.  Find fun things to do that’ll relieve the stress of school once it starts.  I hate to say it, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions based on a couple paragraphs, I don’t know you and your guy, but I wouldn’t count on a serious future with this guy.

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