(Closed) I need some advice–dresses and mom

posted 4 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

brookeandemmett: Your Mom is using childish manipulative behavior to try to pressure you to change your mind. While you are HER child, you are not A child. Ignore this behavior. I mean, really? Can you think of any sillier behavior? And over what- a choice of dress?

Get over it Mom.

Post # 4
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I wouldn’t worry that much. If you mom wants to be upset that your dresses won’t match, that’s her problem. I would say, if she wants to have some time to herself, let her have it.

Incidentally, your relationship will probably change over the years of your marriage and there will be times you don’t talk to each other every day. 

Post # 5
467 posts
Helper bee

She’s being crazy.  Just let it blow over.  In the mean time, maybe get some pictures of non matching black dresses in wedding?  It looks amazingly good.

I’m kinda in the camp that there should be some kind of unified theme to dresses.  However, one of my friends just said wear a black dress, and it looked gorgeous.  It was truly amazing, I would never have guessed how unified black can look even without any guiding themes.  

I’m not saying your mom is acting correctly, because she is being a big baby.  However, maybe if she visualizes how unified the black dresses will look, she will cool down a little?  

Post # 6
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I wonder whether your mum would feel better if you had some kind of accessory for each bridesmaid that they all wore, so that at least they all had something that matched? Like a necklace or hair fascinator. 

Alternatively, tell your mum that if she is that bothered then she can pay for 6 matching dresses.

Sorry you’re dealing with this when it sounds like you are trying to be a very accommodating bride to your friends. 

Post # 7
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Whatever you do, don’t change your mind on the dresses. You are doing right by your friends. Unless you/your mom wants to pay for matching dresses, you are doing the best thing.

Audrey2:  Might be right here too–matching accessories/bouquets can bring a look together.

Post # 8
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

It’s not your mom’s wedding, it’s your wedding. Not your mom’s friends, your friends. Not her memories, your memories.


It’s like a toddler screaming for a cookie: let her exhaust herself with her tantrum, then pick up the conversation when she’s ready to act like an adult. And good on you for sticking to your guns – I had to turn down the wedding of a very close friend because the dress was $180 (PLUS all the other expenses of being in a wedding) and it would be a “buy the dress but have my utilities turned off” experience if I’d done it. Your friends will remember this, and be grateful.

Post # 12
1935 posts
Buzzing bee

I think if your mom is THAT upset about it she should pay for the dresses. Even little borrowed dress. She shoudl pay.

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