(Closed) I need some help/advice!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with you that the dress is nice.  It fits you well and all, but if it doesn’t make you happy and you can afford to get another dress, I would look into getting another one!  This is your day!  You mom is excited for you, which is great, but you still want your day to be your day, not hers.  Talk to her and let her know how you are feeling and be firm in what you say.  Have your Fiance there if you need to for support and so you don’t back down.  You don’t want to look back on your wedding and only think of it as a day your mom organized.  You want to be happy and excited in remembering this day!  Since she is not paying for the wedding, you just have to let her know how you want things and that is how it will be.  Hopefully she will understand and accept it.  If not, you may just have to minimize her involvement in the planning, if she cannot respect yours and your FI’s decisions about the day.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Maybe if she sees you in another dress that you look better in, she’ll want you to switch anyway. If not, tell her that she’s stressing you out. If she doesn’t quit with it, you should be prepared to do your own thing without her support.

Post # 5
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My mom was very overbearing at the start of wedding planning, too.  As soon as I told her that I needed to do things my way and I would ask for her help when needed, she ws very understanding and planning went much smoother!  Just talk to your mom – I think much of her “helping” is really with the best intentions.

As far as the dress…you’ve got a TON of time!  Sell the one you don’t like.  I wouldn’t even start looking for your dress until this fall.  Get your venue, caterer, photographer set first, then look for dresses.  And also – not all girls cry when they try on their dress.  I like my dress a lot, but I didn’t cry.  So don’t feel bad if you don’t!

Post # 6
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow, that dress really does look good!  I love the way it gathers in the front and how the skirt flows.  I’m sorry you don’t feel like it’s the one for you.  If you’re worried about having cold arms in the fall, maybe you could get a bolero jacket to wear over the top while you’re outside.

As for mom, if she were paying for things, then it would make sense for her to have some say in the decision making, but if she’s not then you should put your foot down and remind her who’s getting married.  Or tell her if she’s so keen to plan a wedding, she should renew her own vows and plan her own!  🙂

Post # 8
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think you have time to see if you can find the right accessories/addition to your dress to make it what you want to be.  Your wedding is a ways off, so you don’t need to feel rushed right now!  If you really like how it looks on the top half, I don’t see how it can be that difficult to alter the bottom or take out the hoop skirt in such a way that you will love it!  Sorry I can’t help you with alterations in the PA region!

But I need to comment on your last sentence…that makes me SO sad. SO SO sad.  You should not feel bad or guilt ridden.  Your mom will be happy, even if you don’t wear that dress.  You just need to show her how beautiful you can be in that dress (how you want it) or in another dress that you love.  Don’t even THINK that your Fiance won’t like it or you!  He is MARRYING you because he loves you and wants to spend forever with you – he doesn’t CARE what your dress looks like – he will LOVE you regardless.  And please please please don’t forget that!  You are beautiful now and will be beautiful on your wedding day! 

Post # 10
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

OH!  That makes much more sense…I was like “What?!  OF COURSE he will like you!”  Sorry!

Well I still think you have time to see about altering and fixing up this dress in a way that you love it! Yes, your mom loves this dress, but if you don’t feel happy wearing it, then you shouldn’t have to wear it!  Definitely look into alterations first.  Maybe you can find a way to still keep this dress (and keep your mom happy!) and get the dress that you love.

Post # 12
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

LOL don’t we all wish we could have mix-and-matched a few pieces from several different dresses into our dream dress!  I agree the bottom of that dress is very pretty too.

Post # 13
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Both dresses are very pretty.  I would talk to the seamstress about attaching the dresses because some fabric will not hold together very well if they are different weights.  And buying a whole new dress just for the bottom could be an expensive purchase if they can’t fit them together.  I thought your first suggestions were great.  Look though different pictures of wedding dresses and bring the ideas that you like to a seamstress and the two of you can talk about what can be done and how it will look.  Try to find a seastress through yelp.com or call around to clothing stores and find out who they use.  I found a lady to work on my sister’s Bridesmaid or Best Man dress by asking a flight attendent who she used.

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