- Koala Bear
- 7 years ago
I’m really not one to vent, but I’m hoping you all could help me with some advice or words of wisdom.
I’m having a terribly rough time at home right now. I understand that being 19 and almost completely dependent on my parents right now, means that I should live by the rules they set, however I don’t think that they are be reasonable or fair. I’m not a rebellious by any means, however what I am (or hope to be, I shall say) is fiercely independent, and this causes a ton of problems. You know how people dream of being famous or rich? I dream about being independent and finally being able to having the freedom to make my own decisions.
I know that my parents have my best interests at heart, but the way they go about showing it, by constantly criticizing, micro-managing and placing huge restrictions on my time with my friends and boyfriend (I’m talking basically grounding me for 2 months because I have exams coming up), are really just making my life now extremely frustrating. I know these sound like typical teenage problems, but as some of you might know from reading my posts, I’m more mature than those my age, and treating me like a kid only makes me more aggravated. I’m turning 20 at the end of this month, and I seriously do not need them telling me to take a shower, or to do my assignments or making me change my shoes cause they don’t think they were appropriate for the weather!
I know this may sound bad, but I also have honestly lost a ton of respect for my parents. Growing up, they were constantly fighting and they didn’t try to hide it, so I know exactly what they’re faults and problems are, making hard for me to see them as role models. Especially when I know that they are staying together out of obligation and convenience. They are pretty much living this fake life now, where no one has any real conversations because they don’t want to start anything, and everyone is trying not to walk on eggshells.
It basically come to this point where I could move out right now if I had the means to. I am unhappy, I constantly come to class upset and crying and this whole this is just so stressful. I’m tired of fighting, they don’t want to hear my side of the story and I am too stubborn to change my whole personality to be the docile, devoted daughter, they do not have.
I love my parents, I really do, but I want to continue loving them and I am really at this point where I want to start living my life. I’m searching for a job (which is incredibly hard considering I don’t have much experience since they don’t allow me to work during the school year), and I’m hoping to get some funding from the government to allow me to finish school.
I know this was longer than I meant it to be, but I’m just hoping for some advice and for any ideas on how I can start my “quest for freedom”. Thanks for hearing me out <3