Post # 1
Member
6 posts
Newbee
Hey everyone. This is my first time ever posting and I have been doing some googling to find answers to my issue and cant find any. I need some good advice on this.
Im newly engaged yay! And im trying to figure out the wedding party. Hes my problem. We each have 4 picked out far on each side. Problem is-I have 3 boys that need to be in the wedding-his son is best man and his daugher is one of my bridesmaids. I cant leave my boys out. They have to be a part of this. They have to be groomsmen-and since his son and daughter are in it i cant leave mine out.
So we need a total of 7 on each side. Problem is…i dont have enough gf’s to fill these spots. I could ask family but our family is distant and to be honest NONE of my family included me when they got married and Im not willing to include them. Harsh I know.
Anyways-so he has 7 total and I have 4. What do I do???
Thank you!
Post # 3
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@MotoGP69: Are you totally against having uneven numbers? I’m not sure how it would look with a 3 person difference though. You could always just have your sons stand on your side and have his daughter stand on his side to mix it up a bit. We have uneven sides, but only by 1.
Post # 4
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
@MotoGP69: I’d say just have the uneven sides, or have your sons escort you down the aisle… or even have his kids stand up with him on his side, and yours on your side. There’s no right or wrong way to do it 🙂
Also, as far as asking friends/other relatives… I’d wait until about 9ish months out from the wedding- it will help cut down on any potential drama, as people and relationships change, and it seems weddings tend to bring out the crazy in everyone!
Post # 5
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Why do you need 7 on each side? And why do the boys have to stand on the grooms side while the girls stand on the brides side? I think you need to break out of what you think you are “supposed” to do.
For what it’s worth, my sister-in-law and my son stood on my side. My husband’s best friend stood on his side. So we were uneven and gender neutral. It wasn’t a big deal.
Post # 6
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
I assume these are grown children? If they are young, they could be junior groomsmen or ringbearers. If they are older, they could be ushers, but that would still concern me that FI’s children are attendants and yours are not.
Honestly, I would just let there be 7 and 4. I see no problem with that–everyone will understand why!
OH I also like the idea of having your children on your side and his on his side!!
Post # 7
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
I’m a huge advocate for only having people who are really important to you, even if it’s uneven.
Post # 8
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
Could they do something else, like…
Ushers?
Readings?
Guest book duty?
Post # 9
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
These are people, not photo props. Who cares about the numbers?
Post # 10
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
I had 8 bridesmaids to his 5 groomsmen (not including junior bridesmaids and junior groomsmen) my son was the ring bearer also. I paired 5 girls and 5 boys then I had my 3 best friends arm in arm walk down the isle together and it worked out amazingly! They also came into the reception together and ripped it up!!!!
Post # 11
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
Eh, I wouldn’t be worried about the even numbers. And I actually like that his daughter is standing with you and your sons are with him. It’s showing the blended families, which I think is pretty cool.
Post # 12
Member
6 posts
Newbee
thank you all for you replies! Im not worried about uneven numbers-well just a little when it comes to the dance. But i could always omit the wedding party dance too. I just didnt want my 3 to seem out of place if that makes sense.
My vision is my boys walking ahead of me down the aisle of my dad and I. and them each giving me a kiss and hug before my dad gives me away. I want his daughter next to me and my boys next to him. But the idea of his kids on his side and mine on my side works too
i was just worried that some wouldnt be paired up and hurt feelings etc. My boys are older 21, 19 and 16.
What maybe I could do for the dance is have the wedding parties dance with their signifigant others instead of the other party 🙂 🙂
Thank you all so much for your input! That helps me so much and maybe i can stop stressing about it so much lol
Post # 13
Member
6 posts
Newbee
@ParaSarah: That is awesome! I love it!
Post # 14
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
@MotoGP69: We definitely skipped the wedding party dance! It’s awkward and just wasn’t something our wedding party would have been interested in at all. To avoid having to pair people up for the processional/recessional, could you have all the guys standing at the alter prior to the bridal party and bride entrance? They can walk down in pairs or one at a time.
Post # 15
Member
6 posts
Newbee
I could switch it up. What do you all think about this?
The wedding party walks down. My Maid/Matron of Honor walks with the 1st Groomsmen since his son is the best man. Theres 3 pairs.
Then his son and daughter walk down together and stand on his side.
My 3 walk down right ahead of me-wait for me to get to the end-kiss me and then my dad gives me away and they stand on my side.
I think that may work!
Post # 16
Member
6 posts
Newbee
@DaneLady: Thats a great idea but I want everyone to walk down the aisle. But I will keep that in mind too when it comes time for rehearsal!
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