- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I am turning into a crazy woman :/
I am turning into a crazy woman :/
@ConfusedAnonBee: Okay, I can speak to the weed thing. It is definitely habit-forming if not totally physically addictive. I know that the times that I have *abused* weed (not just used it casually) I was unhappy with my life, and generally, BORED. Miserable and BORED.
Get out of the house. I would almost put you and him on pause and work on getting your head fixed. It sounds counter-intuitive, but don’t work on your relationship right now. Put it on the back burner. You have an addiction, debt, and dissatisfaction to work on.
I am so sorry your husband is being mean to you, but it might be his immature way of expressing frustration at your relapsing. He might be terrified of starting smoking again, too, and lashes out at you so you won’t “drag him down.”
I don’t know what your work schedule is like, but try to do something stimulating in the morning. It’s hard to want to smoke when you’re busy.
I agree with those who say that you, too, are fighting very dirty. If I’m understanding correctly, you are BOTH trying to do a very hard thing: quit a habit which it seems that you have BOTH become dependent on. I don’t understand why, if you’re the one who doesn’t want to sleep with him, he is the one who has to sleep on the couch? Just saying that so you realize that I’m sure he is also very hurt and upset with what is happening. I think you both need to find a free support group–narcotics anonymous, perhaps, and maybe he should look into the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill to see if there’s a support group to help him with his bipolar disorder. There are resources out there for you, and I’m a little pissed at your doctor for basically saying “too bad, insurance doesn’t cover it.” There are sliding scale therapists in most cities/large towns. If your doc’s not willing to help, perhaps a friend or family member will help you look into this? You’re going through some really tough stuff and need some serious help to get through this. Kudos to you and him for trying to improve your lives. It’s not easy, but it will be so rewarding in the long run.
[content moderated for snark, personal attack]
When I was in that state of mind, I thought it was unfair for him to sleep in a comfy bed after treating me like that. It’s like I wanted him to realize the gravity of the situation we are in. Edit: Or maybe deep down, without realizing it, I wanted to punish his bad behavior.
I should have just slept on the couch.
Your DH is trying to quit something that you are having a hard time also quitting so you basically beg him to fail with you and now you are mad at him? If you called him for support and he said you were acting pathetic and asked “what character” then I understand being this upset. But by trying to sway him you were acting pathetic and I would question my DH’s character if he tried to get me to do something I did not want to. And to top if off you didnt get your way so you stormed around the house and made him sleep on the couch.
I dont think the problem solely lies with your husband. I think you need to take some responsibility for your actions.
Many doctors have little knowledge about the services available in their communities.
Phone your Telehealth Ontario
(you can choose to remain anonymous if you prefer), explain the situation to the nurses and they will guide you to the appropriate intake or program. Most communities have a mental health intake where you will meet with someone who will guide you to the appropriate program or service.
Even if you start with the drug problem, it will assist you in dealing with the problems it is creating in your marriage.
But I was not upset for not getting my way with the drugs, I think you misunderstood there. I was upset because he got hurtful with me, quite cruel really. Are you seriously saying that is was okay for him to say all those hurtful things to me? I understand the reasoning behind it, but do you really think it makes it okay to call me names and essentially ”bully” me?
Yes I tried to sway him, it was very wrong and I admit that (and will admit it to him too), but that doesn’t give him a free pass to be cruel.
(no offense meant there)
I suggest going to NA meetings to help you stop smoking weed.
Dare I say, it sounds as if both of you are emotionally immature, which can happen when one uses drugs, especially heavily. He also has the added issues of Bi-polar. I suggest getting some books that will teach you and help you to handle your emotions better, express them clearly, argue without things getting out of hand, and to help you understand yourself and others more.
Even if he doesn’t go to the meetings and read the books with you, you should probably still do them on your own, because issues such as these affect more than just your marriage. You will be better off in the long run if you start addressing these issues now, with or without your husband doing them with you.
Yikes, chill out! Sounds like you were the one fighting dirty here. Pulling the covers off of him, twice? And sobbing hysterically? Wtf? Go to some meetings and knock off the weed smoking. Don’t put yourself in situations where it’s available. Make better decisions.
Your reactions to him only throw fuel on the fire.
The topic ‘I NEED THE BEE, Please Help a Crying Bee :-( (Long)’ is closed to new replies.