- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2016
So for some backstory, my fiance has this cousin that I absolutely love. The problem is, this cousin has a wife that is fairly nice…when she’s not creating drama with the family. I can sit and have a nice conversation with her, but she’s one of those people that thrives on drama. Our wedding is this Saturday the 12th. The RSVP date was October 24 and I put several reminders both on FB and through text/email to people who we hadn’t received RSVPs from. We got pretty much all of the back, besides the one from this family. She works with Fiance, but when she asked about a month ago we told her just to go ahead and send it through the mail. Fiance wants to focus on work at work, and didn’t want to have to deal with wedding stuff. When we didn’t receive it by the 24th we messaged her and asked if she and the kids were coming. When we got no response we asked her husband. He said they would definitely be coming, and would find out about the kids. After not hearing back for a couple days I messaged the kids themselves (one is 16, one is 18, one is 24). Her two daughters said they were coming and bringing their boyfriends (something we had preapproved). We still hadn’t heard about her son (the 24 year old). He recently was out of a home for a while, and after asking him he told us to please just include him on his parent’s invitation since he didn’t have an address at that point.
I realize that I probably shouldn’t have gone through all this work AFTER the RSVP date to find out if they were coming, but I did.
We let everyone know, including this family..multiple times, know that the last possible date we could put the final headcount in was last Monday, October 31. Everyone seemed to understand and we didn’t get any more stragglers. I put in the final headcount and everything was right as rain. Fast forward to this past Friday. At 10 PM I got a message from her.
She said: “Hey. I just wanted to let you know (son) is going to come to your wedding. He’s also going to bring his girl that he’s been seeing and his kids will be there as well.”
Me: “I’m so sorry, but we had to put the final head count in on Monday, October 31. We tried multiple times to reach out to you and him to find out if he was coming. Since we didn’t get a response we didn’t include him. He’s more than welcome to come, and we will make some room for him, but there won’t be enough food, unfortunately”.
Her: “Well I told (FI) MONTHS ago that he was coming” (FI told me this was not true) “and I don’t understand why I couldn’t just bring the RSVP into work and give it to him! We would have refunded you the stamp money! We’ve had so much happen that we didn’t even think about sending it. This is just ridiculous! (Husband) will be there but IM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!”. Yes, exclamations and all.
Me: “As I’ve said, we tried reaching out multiple times to find out if he was coming. When we didn’t hear anything after multiple attempts we assumed he was not. He’s welcome to come, we’re going to have snacks and a dessert table, but it’s a week before the wedding and we can try to squeeze him in, but I’m sure the caterer will say no”.
Her: “Fine, I’ll tell him he’s not welcome.”
At this point I’m worried that she will just try everything she can to ruin the day. I know I shouldn’t worry about her, but I am. I’m not quite sure how to stop worrying about it. I’m also worried that she will badger Fiance about it tomorrow when they get into the office. Bees, do you have any tips on how to not let her get to me?
ETA: I did message the husband after she sent me this just to say hey, wanted to be on the same page, he’s welcome to come there will just not be enough food. The husband’s response was “I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m tired of standing up for her son because he can’t be responsible. DOn’t let her ruin your big day, I’ll be there no matter what”.