(Closed) I need to have a “$ only” wedding shower (Moving out of the country)

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

I just wouldn’t have a shower. I think one of the main points of the shower is to have physical gifts to bring and watch the bride open them. I personally think money only showers are tacky.

Post # 4
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not sure it’s possible to do this without sounding tacky.  Sorry!  Money is not usually an acceptable shower gift.  Maybe you can do a shower without gifts?  That would be better than asking for money.

Post # 5
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t see the point of a shower either.  As for gifts, have them not register and when people ask about gifts explain the situation that they will be moving to another country so money would be most helpful.

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@loves2sing:  Could they register through amazon in brazil? That way the gifts could be shipped directly to Brazil rather than the states?

I moved to London with my husband 1 week after the wedding.

We had a few stateside registries and either shipped the gifts with our furniture or stored it at his mom’s in the US. For electronics we registered with amazon.co.uk and had our gifts shipped direct to our flat in the UK.

ETA: I didn’t have a shower for this reason since we didn’t need a lot of “stuff”. Instead my mom hosted a small brunch for some family friends rather than an actual “gift shower”.

Post # 7
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You can’t dictate what gifts to bring without being tacky.

Post # 8
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree, I don’t think there’s a polite way to request money, particularly for a shower where opening gifts is generally the main event.

Have you considered throwing a theme shower instead? You could request people bringing things that they can either a. use before the trip or b. would travel. For instance, you could do a wine shower where people bring wine they could drink before the wedding, a recipe shower, a lingerie shower, even a “travel shower” where you request people bring things related to travel (maybe people will bring luggage tags, books for the plane, new luggage, mini toiletries, etc). 

Post # 9
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Maybe call it a bridal tea or luncheon, instead of shower? Then when people ask about gifts, you could say “because they’re moving, money would be most helpful.”

Post # 10
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

There’s no non tacky way to do this. If they can’t accept normal gifts, then they shouldn’t have a shower. The only alternative would be to register at a store with a great return policy (like BB&B) and then return everything for cash. Not that I support doing this, because I don’t, but I guess the end result would be what you’re looking for. I’d just make for damn sure that the guests never found out about it.

Post # 11
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I threw a shower for my friend who was moving out of the country.  We didn’t do traditional gifts for the same reason, but I also didn’t know how to do money.  Instead, we ended up doing a lingerie shower for her.  Lingerie is small enough that it didn’t make a big difference when she was shipping/bringing stuff overseas.  Perhaps you could do that?

Post # 12
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think you should host a shower.  The suggestion of a bridal luncheon or tea is great.

Post # 13
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree that the purpose of a shower is to bring gifts, so if you dont want gifts due to them moving soon you really shouldnt have a shower

Post # 14
Member
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Agreed with all the PPs…there’s no way to do this without sounding rude, at least none that I can think of.  Just forego the shower!

Post # 15
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Agree with PP, change the party to a luncheon or tea. If anyone asks, explain the situation. But do not let her register for gifts and do not put any information on the invitation about it.

Post # 16
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I totally agree with @GreenEyedMoon:  

A lingerie shower would totaly awesome. It would be a dream to start my marriage with a whole new wardrobe of undies, bras, nighties, camis…etc

And since she’s going to Brazil, swim-wear can also be considered since it’s sold in lingerie shops too. Even if an extra suitcase of lingerie costs $50 to ship or check in, it’s totally worth it.

 A shower during which the bride-to-be opens up a bunch of envelopes would be tacky & boring. Also, everyone would immediately be comparing the amounts and it could be embarassing for those who cannot afford to give as much or for those who give larger amounts too.

Maybe registering for a company that ships to Brazil would okay but only for the actual wedding gifts since the whole point of a shower is to shower her with gifts & love & to watch her open them. 

I really don’t see any other options other than skipping the shower, it’s not a necessity for every wedding. Congrats of your daughter’s wedding, you’re a great momfor supporting her moving to be with the man she loves Smile

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