- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Well, here is the beginning of the story.
My Fiance, growing up, has always taken care of his mother, in the sense that he was there for her, when she had no one else. And he helped her when she had breast cancer when he was a child, making him always feel that he needed to take care of her now.
And that I completely understand.
Because growing up, I too, had to take care of my parent, my dad in fact. After something got right, he would always get sick again, and I would be taking care of him.
But now we are at the point where we want to live together, and I feel like I really need him around. Just for support, and the fact that I LOVE to go to sleep in his arms. Anyway, because we are at that point, we also have to figure out what we are going to do with our parents.
And that kind of feels like “Where are we going to put them…” liek they are animals. But here’s some more story. His mom is a full time nurse, working at Keiser, is absolutey fine living on her own. the only problem is, is that she signed a TWO year lease on a three bedroom house that I only thought she signed a ONE year lease one. The original plan was that we would all live together (my, my Fiance, her and my dad) which she pulled the plug on at the alst minute when my dad had already loaded up his van with all of his belongings, which I’m still pretty pissed about. Anyway, so she is in debt and needs FI’s help to pay the rent. Which I feel would have been fine if I could live there, too, but I know that I couldn’t without feeling guilty from my dad.
You see, he has kidney failure and has dialasis every day. He’s always tired, and just recently he has gotten large sores on his feet and legs that haven’t healed for a month and a half. He doesn’t take care of himself, and I know I would be able to help him. I know I would never hand him over to a nursing home unless I absolutely could not help him.
But by doing this, and living with him, I wouldn’t be able to live with my Fiance, because he needs to help his mother. And even after we’re married, this would still be the case.
I’m just so confused and I need some insight. I was talking to my Fiance about how I was so confused, and he thought that I was going to leave him. And let me assure you, I wouldn’t. Not even if we couldn’t live together for a couple years. No big deal.
Just one thing.