I need to rant about this bridesmaid…

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
825 posts
Busy bee

I have absolutely no useful advice but didn’t want to read and run, I’m really sorry this is happening and I completely understand why you are upset. Hugs bee ❤️

Post # 3
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

She sounds painful. Sorry. But I don’t think there’s much, if anything, you’d be able to do to make things work for her.

Post # 4
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

I think you are reasonable to be frustrated but I think you need to consider this from her point of view as well. She is spending a lot of time and money on your big day because of your friendship. It is easy to get caught up while planning in excitement and to justify New Orleans (or wherever) and then when looking at it overall realizing the time/commitment all for events focused on someone else. This may have lead to her justifying the additional trip that isn’t about you which then of course squeezes her more.

As a person who was often the single person on couple vacations, I get her weariness about the couch. It is generally expected that the single person gives up comfort and privacy and often offers to switch are half-hearted or tinged with resentment that she can’t just get over it. 

This is a big exciting time for you and your friend probably wants to support you but keep in mind that it’s your wedding and your parties and it can be a real hardship to spend all your vacation time and money on someone else’s day/dream. She’s entitled to make her own vacation plans.  You expecting her to forego other opportunities to free up money for your stuff is a bit selfish.

The constant low level complaining isn’t cool, but I really think you need to look at it from her side. Maybe a heart to heart is in order. I think it would be super harsh to expect her to shell out for all this with the intention of cutting her out after.

Post # 5
Member
8947 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

fyeahp0pcorn :  I think there is blame all around here. Lori should have been straight from the start about finances and discussed it with you. Dana should have either booked a bedroom for everyone or consulted everyone on the decision that someone would need to sleep on the pullout. I also don’t agree that the single person should automatically get the pullout. And whilst the offer to get her boyfriend to sleep on the pullout was nice, I can also see how that would make Lori uncomfortable. It makes her the villan just because she spoke up about being shafted in the original accommodation stakes. And add to that that you expected her to have zero privacy around strangers (since she doesn’t know the rest of the bridal party). I can see why she was upset.

As for New Orleans, well maybe when it was suggested she could afford it but then something came up. Which might also explain the standby flights, which tend to be cheaper. 

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