Post # 1
I tried to post this last night, but after pouring my heart out…Weddingbee crashed right as I hit post. Boo.
I have been engaged for almost a month now. These past few weeks have been the happiest of my life so far. Unfortunately there is one thing that is bothering me…My Mom.
My Mom has seemed less than thrilled about me getting married. I called her right after the proposal and she didn’t sound so excited. She started asking if we set a date and where we want to get married (Mom lives back home in Boston, I live in TX) I told her I had only been engaged for twenty minutes, we haven’t gotten that far, and I just wanted to enjoy being engaged for a little bit.
Fast forward a few weeks….
She calls me this past weekend to wish me a Happy Birthday and in the convo, my wedding was brought up again. She asked me when we were planning on getting married and I said that we still hadn’t picked a date, but we were looking at Spring 2013. She didn’t sound too happy about this. My oldest brother got engaged a few weeks before me and they are planning on a Fall 2013 wedding. She told me that I really should wait until after they are married to get married myself. (Bro and future sister in law do not care about this btw)
Then she asks about the location. I tell her that I’ve mainly been looking down here as it would be a logistical nightmare to try to plan a Boston wedding from down here. I can’t afford to fly back and forth on a whim to meet with vendors. She tells me that I’d be greatly inconveniencing my family and that most of my family wouldn’t come. I try to explain to her that if we did hold it back home, all of my fiance’s family would have to fly up to MA as they are from TX so they would be inconvenienced if it were flipped too.
Am I right to be upset about this? I feel like I can’t even talk to my own Mom about the happiest event of my iife. Everytime I do, she just bums me out :-/
Post # 3
Girl, I hear you loud and clear… My mom is the opposite, super excited and basically planning the wedding she wishes she had, every time I call her (in Indianapolis) she sucks the fun right out of the planning… All either of us can really do is remind them that “this is our wedding day, not yours”
Keep your chin up! you’ll make it!
Post # 4
I’m planning a Sunday brunch wedding in MD, where my family lives, though my Fiance (and his family) and I live in NYC. I keep hearing that people won’t be able to come to this if it’s on a Sunday, but you know what? You can’t please everyone. And those who want to come to your wedding will come to your wedding. That is what’s important to remember.
As for the timing, if your brother is ok with it, then I don’t think anyone has any reason to be concened. That is the risk that he and his Fiance chose to take by having a long engagement – it’s possible for someone else to get engaged and married in the time that they did so.
Do you have friends or other family who will be supportive?
Post # 5
Do you normally have a good relationship with your mom? If yes, try having a calm, open convo about how you’re feeling. Let her know that you want to share this time in your life with her and feel like she is happy and excited for you and you’re not getting that feeling right now. My hope would be that YOUR happiness will outweigh her convenience. And even if she is bummed about certain aspects that you’ll choose, hopefully she’ll be able to voice them and then drop it!:)
If you normally don’t have a great relationship I urge you to disconnect yourself as much as possible from other people’s opinions. There is no possible way to please everyone and the most important thing is that you and Fiance have the wedding YOU TWO dream of!
Good luck and keep us updated:)
Post # 6
You could always try having it somewhere in the middle, so that everyone has to travel. But honestly, you have to do what’s best for you. You just have to be ok with the fact that wherever you have it, some people won’t come.
Moms can be difficult, and only you know your situation with her best. Either keep her at arms length, or have a conversation with her about how you need her there for you to support you and your decisions