(Closed) I need to vent before i explode crying! very loong :/

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2468 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i’m so sorry, that sounds really awful 🙁 it sounds like you’re doing everything you can to reach out to your mom, and she’s just not reciprocating. that’s great though that you have a fi and a daughter to build your own family with–that must help, right?

Post # 4
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

aww i’m so sorry you have to go through this – i wish i could just give you a big hug because my heart just reaches out to you…

Post # 5
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m soo sorry you are going through this.. I wish I could say something to make it better. What I can say is that you can take what you have learned from your relationship with your mother and make it so you have the best relationship with your daughter.. you’ll always be able to show your little girl how much you love her and she’ll show you unconditional love. Sounds like you have an awsome Fiance also! The fact that he knows the rocky relationship you have with your  mom and still was supportive enough to say ok and have your mom go with you guys to Disney shows alot about him!

How is your relationship with your sister?

Post # 6
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Oh I feel for you!  But let me say this…………..just because someone is biologically related to you does not mean you have to like them nor do you have to have any kind of relationship with them.  You can choose to have a happy life and live it.

My brother was also always the favorite, he has now passed on. My relationship with my mom didn’t get any better after this passing.  I have not talked to my father in 15 years and it’s the best decision I ever made. I am a much happier healthier person without him in my life.

I do hope you can come to terms and decide what is best for you and your family. And I hope you have a wonderful wedding day, don’t let anyone rain on your parade. It’s your day.

Post # 8
145 posts
Blushing bee

Looking at this from a logical point of view, did it ever occur to you that your mom resents you for everything that you’ve accomplished in your life? In spite of being in foster care for a while, you graduated, you got a good job, a house, you are getting married, everything in life that she probably craves for, but because of bad decisions that she’s made in her life, she is now stuck where she is at? Please do not take what she says personally, her resentment is her own making, misery loves company and that’s why she loves your sister more. When you look at it from that perspective, please take pride in your accomplishments and have as little contact with her as possible, and find yourself another good mother role model to look up to, maybe your FI’s mom???

Post # 9
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you need to stop trying with your mother, and sister. You have your own life and family now, and you need to devote your time and energy on them. I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope you feel better.

Post # 10
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this during your wedding planning! I see how bad you are hurting and truly hope you can find some happiness during this very special time of your life. As teeleaf stated, I think you should definately build a great relationship with your daughter, and show her how very special she is to you every single day. I also agree with what loveapril said, that it truly does sound like your mother is jealous of your life and your accomplishments. From her comment “It’s your wedding not mine” it’s obvious that she is jealous and she is too focused on her own misery to try to be there for you. It sounds like you have a wonderful Fiance, and for that you are blessed. Like notasaint said, you don’t have to keep in contact with family members just because they are family. If they cause you such pain and affect you negatively, I would stop interacting with them. It’s not worth it. You have a great life and deserve to be able to enjoy it. You are not obligated to communicate with your mom or your sister. I understand how much you probably want them in your life, because they are family and you would like to share your wedding with them, but they sound like very selfish people who will absolutely suck all the happiness right out of you. I wish you the best!

Post # 12
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

It sounds like your mother is jealous of you and/or harbors guilt and is taking it out on you. She sucks 🙁 Atleast you have a wonderful relationship with your daughter and are marrying a wonderful man 🙂

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